Betrayed by the One I Loved: 12 True Stories of Cheating

Cheating is one of the worst things that can happen to you in a relationship. Whether or not you choose to stay with someone who cheated on you, one thing is for sure: The relationship irrevocably changes. Usually for the worse. Getting cheated on is one of those things that people have a tendency to never forget. It blows your whole world apart, and you remember it long after you may have forgotten that wonderful Christmas gift he gave you, or that time you had such fun ice skating. The moment you discovered it is one of those moments you'll probably still remember at 90. Here are 12 ways people discovered their loved one was cheating.

1. The text screw-up. He texted me and told me he couldn’t hang out because he was going to sleep. I believed that. Then I get a text minutes later along the lines of, “I texted her and told her I’m going to sleep” -- I knew something was up. There was talk about his flirting with a certain girl. I called him and told him that he texted the wrong person, he lied and told me he was texting his guy friend, asking to hang out. I immediately hung up the phone and called that guy friend before he would get a chance to and asked him where he was ... he was out of the state. Unfortunately this was very long ago and I was very stupid, so I stayed in the crumbling relationship for a few more weeks until we eventually broke up.

2. Frat brother tells all. Found out my boyfriend in college was cheating from one of his frat brothers. I said nothing and still went to his formal with him, which was at a hotel in another town. Then I called him out when we got there and ruined the entire weekend for him. :) And then when I saw the chick at a party at the same frat house the next weekend, I dumped a beer on her "by accident." I'm a class act.

3. Venereal disease alert! I found out mine had acted on his gay feelings when at my OBGYN annual checkup, she said, "This looks like an old herpes sore." It turned out to be HPV warts, but after 16 years together, he clearly had cheated.

4. Text message snooping. There was the time I happened to see his phone as he was getting a message -- from another guy -- about meeting. Can’t remember the exact words, but it was pretty clear this was about meeting for sexy times. Oh wait, that happened about five or six times. Me: What the hell is this?!? Him: Deny, deny, deny, until he finally admits he’s been Craigslist cruising but of course it means “nothing,” he’s just experimenting.

5. More text message snooping. I went through his phone and found a text from a girl saying, "Thanks for the wonderful evening! xoxo" with her first and last name. I looked her up online, found her email, and then created an email account under my boyfriend's name. I emailed her and wrote, "How did you enjoy our date?" thinking maybe this was all some big misunderstanding and she'd write back saying, "That wasn't a date, you idiot!" But she wrote back, "Which one? We've had several."

6. Condom alert. I found a box of condoms hidden in the ceiling. We'd been married 10 years and had been valiantly trying to get pregnant, so I knew they weren't for me.

7. Viagra alert. He had packed for a business trip and I went into his bag for something and found a Viagra pill.

8. Sex addict alert. I found some messages and then eventually found his profile on an S&M dating site. The picture of him in a leather mask, tied up, with a whip and looking for women he could urinate on was quite a shock to say the least!

9. Bachelor party. He cheated with one of the strippers at his bachelor party. One of his friends took pictures and he actually left the camera lying around. I cancelled the wedding.

10. Aaaand more text message snooping! I checked his phone. I hadn’t wanted to be that snooping gal, but I somehow just knew. He was being so distant. And I was right. There were several text conversations with different women that were more than inappropriate for someone with a serious girlfriend. And VERY sexual. I didn’t confront him at first but then I was pouting all day and he picked up on it. So I questioned him saying I wasn’t proud of what I’d done but that I’d had a feeling and checked his phone and who was Debbie (or whatever their names were)? He said that she was an ex lover but that nothing had happened and that it was just fantasy. But the fact that he even felt compelled to do that was crushing to me (especially since our sex life had been good and frequent). A week later I found another transgression checking his email ... and I left him brokenhearted.

11. Caught red-handed. A bunch of us rented a beach house and we were all at a bar when my boyfriend disappeared for a while. Finally, I was like, WTF? So I went back to the house to see what he was doing when, lo and behold, he was walking out of a bedroom with a girl. Happy ending, though. My brother was there and he punched him in the face.

And lest you think it's all men who cheat, here's a bonus story from a guy:

12. Catfishing. She was acting really suspicious on the computer, closing it every time I came around. Eventually I sent her an email pretending to be a guy she met at a conference, I made up some name. She responded and we ended up conversing for weeks, with her thinking I was "Dave from Chicago." I ended up inviting her to Chicago to see "me" and she agreed. I confronted her before her trip to see "Dave." I still regret that I didn't let her fly to Chicago and then meet her there myself. The look on her face would have been priceless. But she wasn't worth the trip!

Have you ever discovered anyone cheating on you?


Image via Daniel Grill/Tetra Images/Corbis

breakups, cheating


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Sirena Robinson

Before meeting my now husband, I was engaged to a man that I'd dated for three years. One night I was sick and went to bed early but woke up feeling worse and asked him to come lay down with me. He brought my laptop into the bedroom and stayed up on it for a while. The next morning, I took the laptop to law school with me and when I opened it up, he had left his email open and up on the screen. Not just logged in, it was literally the first thing I saw. Dozens of email from different women, including the girlfriend he'd been apparently seeing first and had recently impregnated.

nekoy... nekoyukidoll

mine was talking to his new "lady" via yahoo messenger while talking to me at the same time.  

Heavy... Heavy_Pipe

I get caught cheating three or four times a year. My gf doesnt care because she knows I only love her and the other women are just time wasters. It helps if youre straight up with your partner and let them know youre not interested in the others for anything more than sex

LoveM... LoveMeChain

Whoa Heavy_Pipe, that was unexpected. Does your girlfriend get to screw whoever she wants, too?

Felip... FelipesMom

Heavy_Pipe, this post wasn't about open relationships, it was about cheating!

If your GF is OK with you having sex w other women, it's not cheating, and therefore not really relevant here.

And if she's not OK with it but manages to forgive you each time it happens, then you are in a very unhealthy relationship and "straight up" is NOT an accurate way to portray yourself!

nonmember avatar krazybeeach

Been 2gether for 4yrs, have 2 kids, married a week, his mother told me he was goin to have a baby, it wasn't me....

00NoW... 00NoWay00

Heavy_Pipe ... that's not cheating.  That's an open relationship.  That is a whole different subject.  I hope you are at least using protection when you are out with your many other women.  You must be quite a stud!eye rolling

nonmember avatar Jen

Not a stud, just a selfish dog like most men.

nonmember avatar Anonymous

I let my then teenage sister stay with me bc she was having a fight with my dad. Found out six months later while driving with my bf at the time that they slept together. Needless to say I don't talk to either much.

pirat... piratepixie

The ex started making a big deal with going out to spend time by himself.. shaving, showering and dressing up in nice clothes. Not to mention the strange phone calls that he would lock himself in the bedroom for so I knew something was up. He denied it of course but one after noon when I was suppose to be at work I followed him and saw him leaving a apartment of someone I didn't know. He again denied it but a few weeks later when he wanted oral sex I could taste sex on him! I knew it wasn't from me because we hadn't in weeks, that was it. It was over for me at that point, there wasn't enough "I'm sorry" that was going to fix it. Not when he didn't even understand why I was mad!

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