Cheating is one of the worst things that can happen to you in a relationship. Whether or not you choose to stay with someone who cheated on you, one thing is for sure: The relationship irrevocably changes. Usually for the worse. Getting cheated on is one of those things that people have a tendency to never forget. It blows your whole world apart, and you remember it long after you may have forgotten that wonderful Christmas gift he gave you, or that time you had such fun ice skating. The moment you discovered it is one of those moments you'll probably still remember at 90. Here are 12 ways people discovered their loved one was cheating.
1. The text screw-up. He texted me and told me he couldn’t hang out because he was going to sleep. I believed that. Then I get a text minutes later along the lines of, “I texted her and told her I’m going to sleep” -- I knew something was up. There was talk about his flirting with a certain girl. I called him and told him that he texted the wrong person, he lied and told me he was texting his guy friend, asking to hang out. I immediately hung up the phone and called that guy friend before he would get a chance to and asked him where he was ... he was out of the state. Unfortunately this was very long ago and I was very stupid, so I stayed in the crumbling relationship for a few more weeks until we eventually broke up.
2. Frat brother tells all. Found out my boyfriend in college was cheating from one of his frat brothers. I said nothing and still went to his formal with him, which was at a hotel in another town. Then I called him out when we got there and ruined the entire weekend for him. :) And then when I saw the chick at a party at the same frat house the next weekend, I dumped a beer on her "by accident." I'm a class act.
3. Venereal disease alert! I found out mine had acted on his gay feelings when at my OBGYN annual checkup, she said, "This looks like an old herpes sore." It turned out to be HPV warts, but after 16 years together, he clearly had cheated.
4. Text message snooping. There was the time I happened to see his phone as he was getting a message -- from another guy -- about meeting. Can’t remember the exact words, but it was pretty clear this was about meeting for sexy times. Oh wait, that happened about five or six times. Me: What the hell is this?!? Him: Deny, deny, deny, until he finally admits he’s been Craigslist cruising but of course it means “nothing,” he’s just experimenting.
5. More text message snooping. I went through his phone and found a text from a girl saying, "Thanks for the wonderful evening! xoxo" with her first and last name. I looked her up online, found her email, and then created an email account under my boyfriend's name. I emailed her and wrote, "How did you enjoy our date?" thinking maybe this was all some big misunderstanding and she'd write back saying, "That wasn't a date, you idiot!" But she wrote back, "Which one? We've had several."
6. Condom alert. I found a box of condoms hidden in the ceiling. We'd been married 10 years and had been valiantly trying to get pregnant, so I knew they weren't for me.
7. Viagra alert. He had packed for a business trip and I went into his bag for something and found a Viagra pill.
8. Sex addict alert. I found some messages and then eventually found his profile on an S&M dating site. The picture of him in a leather mask, tied up, with a whip and looking for women he could urinate on was quite a shock to say the least!
9. Bachelor party. He cheated with one of the strippers at his bachelor party. One of his friends took pictures and he actually left the camera lying around. I cancelled the wedding.
10. Aaaand more text message snooping! I checked his phone. I hadn’t wanted to be that snooping gal, but I somehow just knew. He was being so distant. And I was right. There were several text conversations with different women that were more than inappropriate for someone with a serious girlfriend. And VERY sexual. I didn’t confront him at first but then I was pouting all day and he picked up on it. So I questioned him saying I wasn’t proud of what I’d done but that I’d had a feeling and checked his phone and who was Debbie (or whatever their names were)? He said that she was an ex lover but that nothing had happened and that it was just fantasy. But the fact that he even felt compelled to do that was crushing to me (especially since our sex life had been good and frequent). A week later I found another transgression checking his email ... and I left him brokenhearted.
11. Caught red-handed. A bunch of us rented a beach house and we were all at a bar when my boyfriend disappeared for a while. Finally, I was like, WTF? So I went back to the house to see what he was doing when, lo and behold, he was walking out of a bedroom with a girl. Happy ending, though. My brother was there and he punched him in the face.
And lest you think it's all men who cheat, here's a bonus story from a guy:
12. Catfishing. She was acting really suspicious on the computer, closing it every time I came around. Eventually I sent her an email pretending to be a guy she met at a conference, I made up some name. She responded and we ended up conversing for weeks, with her thinking I was "Dave from Chicago." I ended up inviting her to Chicago to see "me" and she agreed. I confronted her before her trip to see "Dave." I still regret that I didn't let her fly to Chicago and then meet her there myself. The look on her face would have been priceless. But she wasn't worth the trip!
Have you ever discovered anyone cheating on you?
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