7 Surefire Ways to Kill Your Marriage

marriageDespite what fairy tales would have us believe, marriage is so much more than the "happily ever after" ending at the end of every story. Once the bride and the groom ride off into the sunset, there is usually an enormous balancing act that takes place during which the newly permanent couple becomes accustomed to one another's quirks and oddities and slowly but surely begins their journey toward long term marriage.

As we all know, many don't make it. Some would say even half don't make it. Sometimes it is easy to see why. There is no secret sauce to making a marriage grand and what works for one couple won't work for every couple. But there are some universal ways to sink a marriage. Here are 7:

1.) Watch TV alone instead of spending time after the kids are in bed: This is one we are probably all guilty of at one time or another. Those little, lovable rugrats are amazing and sweet and we adore them, but DANG they wear us out. Sometimes all we want to do at the end of the day is be left alone. This is fine. A couple times a week. But it is also an important time to reconnect with our spouses, to talk about our days without little voices, and to benefit from touch.
 
2.) Stop talking during the day: Remember those emails and calls during work hours? Are those still happening? Yes as we grow older and more dedicated to our careers, things DO change. I know my husband can't take 20 minutes to hash out a home problem with me anymore during work hours. But we can still text and send emails and just make sure we know the other is thinking of us.
 
3.) Never say 'I Love You': These words matter. Like it or not, they do. And to some, they matter even more than actions. Know your spouse and say it.
 
4.) Stop paying attention to the little things: The joke about husbands not noticing hair changes? That's real. When you stop looking at your spouse as a person and start assuming constant predictability, things get stale.

5.) Never say "I’m sorry": If you mess up, say sorry. It's the adult thing to do. Even in a long term marriage.

6.) Nag your spouse to death: Oh man am I guilty of this one. Oops! NO ONE wants to be nagged. It's an awful feeling. Cut that crap out. For the sake of your marriage. 

7.) Stop cuddling: Not everyone needs sex five times a week. For some couples, just a hug or a kiss or a cuddle is enough. Regardless, most couples DO need some kind of physical connectedness to stay together. If it's not sex, find another way.

What are some ways you have seen that people kill marriages?

 

Image via LelandFrancisco/Flickr

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Nelli... NellieAthome

Ms Brown-Worsham asks "What are some ways you have seen that people kill marriages?"


Answer: I've seen people kill their marriages by becoming overly obsessed with "do" and "don't" lists like this one



the4m... the4mutts

Assuming that we're only talking about formerly stable marriages, and not ones with abuse or addiction problems...

You left out the all important DONT CHEAT! Even "emotional cheating" is able to ruin a marriage.

Part of the reason my ex husband and I divorced, is because he spent SOOOO much time at work, and I found out later that he mostly did so, because of all the attention from other females. He didn't cheat, but he got his little ego fix at work, then came home and slept.

He worked 12-16 hours, came home, slept, ate, and left again. And he was "no longer allowed" to take calls at work, except on breaks, but then "was too busy to take break" (i found out later that all these things were lies)

Get your ego boost at home, and treat your spouse like their opinion is the only one that matters. Because if you let your spouse feel like you care too much about what other men/women think of you, then they're going to look for someone to think of them for once.

nonmember avatar denise`

you forgot a great one, DONT LIE! any little lie leaves me to believe that you're lying about bigger things.

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