We marry people we love for better or worse, and the reality is some days really are better than others. Still, once you have been married a while, you do start to learn each other's ins and outs. At least in my case, I find that marriage gets better and better, largely because I know my husband so well.
He also knows me well. I have my weird quirks. I am generally not an organized or even very clean person, but the bed must be made and the dishes must be done. Every day. No exceptions. There can be clutter or mess anywhere else, but bed and dishes? No way. He knows this and he also knows that when he takes the time to actually do those things, it makes me MUCH more amenable to his requests to watch the game on TV or go out with his guy friends until 1 a.m.
Of course, he's not the only one with tricks up his sleeve. I -- and most other wives -- know nice ways to get OUR husbands to do what we want as well. Here are 6 ways you can get your husband to do what you want WITHOUT a fight:
1.) Offer food: No man wants to be reminded 15 times in a nasty tone that he has to take out the garbage. But if you say it all sweet and combine it with an offer of food, he will want to do it! He'll even think he thought of it! I prefer chocolate chip cookies, which last long enough to serve as constant reminders of ALL we do for him.
2.) Flirt: I would NEVER argue for trading sexual favors for chores, but certainly a little harmless flirtation (replete with a giggle) never hurt anyone. It's much nicer to be "nagged" with a sexual flourish than with nothing at all.
3.) Say "please": Oh, how easy it is in a marriage to forget our manners, but when you say please, it turns from nagging and pushing and bossing him around into asking. Big difference.
4.) Be needy: I am nine months pregnant right now, and my husband is pretty willing to help when I need it. Sure, he doesn't want to be taken advantage of -- who does? -- but, like most men, he is happy to help if he feels like it's needed. If you aren't pregnant, then you may just have too much to do or be overwhelmed or have any number of reasons to NEED help. Show that and he'll want to pitch in, too.
5.) Be grateful: Don't act like it's all one big expectation. Sure we all are expected to pitch in and pull our own weight, but if he does something well or above and beyond, compliment him and thank him! He's not a slave. It makes things much, much easier.
6.) Tell him: He's not a mind reader. If you want him to do something he's not doing, pick a good time, sit down, and talk to him like a grownup. Things change sometimes just by listing out our needs in a calm, rational way.
How do you get your husband to do what you want around the house?
Image via tourist_on_earth/Flickr