Whoever said dating is "fun" clearly hasn't done it for a while. Oh sure, there's something to be said for the butterflies-in-stomach feeling that comes with meeting someone new and sparks flying. But let's be real. Those chemistry-riddled moments are few and far between. It's far more likely your first date will be your last.
While this is all relatively fresh and new when you're in your 20s, the bloom falls from the rose of the whole ordeal once you hit 30. Dating changes from being this sort of full-of-hope venture to a dreary chore. It's not that you've given up on Mr. Right or anything.
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It's more like one of the downsides of feeling more confident in your own skin is your seeming inability to put up with anything that seems like it might be a waste of your time. And good for you! You go, Glenn Coco! But you do start to notice patterns -- for example, there seem to be only 5 types of guys around to go on dates with.
1. Peter Pan
When you were in your 20s, these guys were "immature" at their worst and "free spirits" ... when they were hot. But now that we're all growing up and they're still arriving via skateboard to pick you up, things have changed. As a general rule, if you are closer to getting arthritis than acne -- don't skateboard.
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He seemed cool enough when you met. But now that you're one on one, you can't help noticing that he seldom blinks and has no sense of personal space. Plus, the way he's holding that knife is vaguely creepy. Did he just ... did he just ask if you were about a size 14? Yeaaaah, no.
3. Mr. All-In
He texts you before your first date and says he's so excited to see you. You think, That's sweet. He follows up this text to find out what you're wearing so he can coordinate. You don't answer and he shoots back another message asking why you're ignoring him. You're picking up your phone to answer and he's already breaking up with you -- he's tired of all the bullshit. But don't worry -- he'll be sure to drunk dial you in the not so distant future to reminisce over the good times ... that you did not have together.
4. The Man With the Plan
He's charming and smart and funny and has a healthy relationship with his parents. The only downside is he doesn't seem that into what you've got going. He initiates dates and then stares out into space. He's always on time and he always follows up but something's missing. You talk about a future and he nods but it all feels ... off. You realize that it isn't you -- it's any girl. He's not ready for love but dating, marriage, and kids are items on a list he thinks he's got to check off. He'll break your heart and you won't see it coming.
5. Too Cool to Even Be Here
He's on his phone, he's rolling his eyes, he suggests a bike ride, a cup of coffee, a loud concert. He shrugs when you ask him questions, he smiles a lot -- but always at some incoming email or text. He doesn't call you for a week after looking at your album collection because its not-cool factor has made him think he needs "time to think." You'll never meet his friends or even find out really what he does for a living. He's too cool to date you. He's basically too cool to exist.
What types of guys did you encounter dating in your 30s?