Ah, the great penis size debate. Whether you think length matters or not, men are always going to have their own goods -- and, apparently, those belonging to every other man in the country -- on the brain. One condom company decided to take this issue more seriously by tracking the number of people in each state who purchased their small, large, and elephantine-sized condoms (I made that up, I have no clue what they call condoms made for absurdly well-endowed men). The results are ... odd. And totally unpredictable.
But just in case you're in the process of looking to relocate, you may want to keep this list in mind. Here are the top 10 states where men with the biggest penises reside.
Before you get all excited because your state made it to the top 10, keep in mind: men in the U.S. still rank way at the bottom when it comes to global penis sizes. The average penis length in our country is 5.1 inches -- 1.1 inches shorter than those found in Italy -- and those folks can spend just $5 on a bottle of wine that doesn't give them a wicked hangover headache. Not fair. Since this little experiment doesn't provide details about actual size, for all we know, the top state could be the one where men are fortunate enough to simply fit in a condom.
Anyhoo -- here are the top 10 states for penis size:
1. North Dakota
2. Rhode Island
3. South Dakota
4. Washington, D.C.
9. New York
10. South Carolina
Talk about being all over the map! There seems to be no rhyme or reason behind the results of this survey, aside from the fact that people in both Dakotas are obviously feeding their male children magic penis growth beans. Isn't it weird how five of the states are situated on the East Coast and how not one state on the West Coast is represented?
Here's how the rest of the states ranked:
14. New Jersey
23. New Mexico
37. New Hampshire
44. West Virginia
47. North Carolina
All kidding aside, most women would find it totally appalling if a list of places with the biggest breasts was compiled. Oh, never mind, of course that already exists.
Honestly though, do women really care that much about penis size? I admit you need for it to be ... present and ready for active duty. But come on, anything bigger than 7 inches is a liability. Right? Um ... Right?
What do you think about the results of this survey?
Image via trec-lit/Flickr