I Regret Not Spending a Lot More on My Wedding Band

OMG 14

When my husband and I were making wedding plans six years ago, we were blown away by how much everything cost. We live in New York City, where wedding venues charge anywhere from $5,000 to $500,000. Even having a wedding in a park -- which we ultimately vetoed because of all the work -- proved to be a pain in the butt after we considered the cost of food, invitations, tables, chairs, and everything else. So when it came time to thinking about our wedding rings, we didn't. My husband had gifted me with an unbelievably gorgeous diamond engagement ring, and I approached the wedding band like some do their bridal undergarments. It was the last thing on my mind. I had a very whatever attitude about the whole thing.

Big, huge mistake. The ring my husband placed on my finger, while saying the vows that meant a bazillion times more to me, now causes my finger to flare up and rash whenever I wear it. And this fact upsets me more than I ever imagined it would. 

As the holidays approach, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I've thought about telling my husband that I'd like to replace my contaminated wedding band with something else. Not something super expensive -- just something that won't cause my finger to fall off after prolonged exposure to it. I'm not asking him to buy it for me -- I'm happy to take whatever extra money I've made independent of him. But the thing is, when you're married, it doesn't feel right to spend that kind of money on yourself unless you both approve of it. And certainly not on something as sacred as your wedding band.

There's this voice in my head that sounds like this: What kind of woman buys a new wedding ring years after the wedding? Vows weren't whispered over the new ring. It didn't exist practically as part of my anatomy for six years. It will hold absolutely no significance. The only women who do things like this are ... yikes, Kardashian women. Not the actual Kardashians, mind you, who would have had the sense to shell out a little more money on the ring and a little less on the flowers and the DJ while planning their wedding.

But I don't want to live the rest of my married days, which I hope means the rest of my life, wearing my engagement ring on my finger and my wedding band on a chain around my neck. It feels odd, like I'm sending a message that I haven't made that marital commitment yet. 

I know, it's just a materialistic symbol. It's a shallow thought. 

But when I recently read that the average cost of an engagement ring is $5,431 in America, I couldn't help but want to shout out loud to any woman currently planning her wedding that she should also consider spending a good amount on a sturdy wedding band that will last a lifetime.

Replace your fancy paper invitations with plain white ones. Get daisies and carnations instead of peonies. Whatever it takes -- your ring will prove far more important to you in 10 years than your flower arrangement did the day after your wedding.

Did you spend a lot of money on your wedding band? 


Image via Yovany Alas/Flickr

anniversaries, in the news, love, marriage, proposals, weddings


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Smoke... Smokeygirl

We didn't spend a lot on our bands, but my husband wanted matching rings- a difficult feat considering I wear yellow gold and he wears white. We compromised on two tone whit/yellow gold bands and I love them. They are fairly simple, but should last forever.

crunc... crunchymomma87

My husband and I had a messy separation for a while but ended up reconciling. He had pawned our rings. I bought a 25$ engagement, bridal and 5 year band set from overstock. It doesn't matter what ring it is. It is more of a symbol of my commitment and love for him. I don't care whats on my finger, but I wanted people to see I was proud of my husband and "wore" our relationship proudly.  I think you're taking a material object too seriously. Rings get lost, stolen, or get to small, what do you expect those women to do? Just never have a ring again?

Some people don't want to live in NYC where things are a million dollars and people take material objects too seriously. Maybe you should check into that?

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

My wedding ring was only about $150 but it is 18 karat gold and hand finished. Replacing it now would be quite an upgrade because I looked at the website and the rings are now about $700 for the same thing.

nonmember avatar FarmersWife

If it's so bad you can't wear it- replace it. Keep the original, but you need new. If you were married in a church you can ask that your new ring is blessed like the one on your wedding day was. Or go out on your anniversary date and renew your vows and exchange rings again- only you get a new one this time.

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

crunchymama you're clearly true to your name, she literally gets a rash when she wears it, have you checked into THAT?

nonmember avatar Paige Kaye

If you have the money, why not go to a jeweller's and see if you can get the band covered in a higher quality metal? "Dipping" a ring is often done when someone is using an inherited band that has sentimental value but is not the preferred metal color. In this case, your ring has sentimental value, but is bad for your health. Dip it!

nonmember avatar tntsociety

My husband had my engagement ring custom made so when it came time to look for a band nothing looked right along side of it. I LOVE my engagement ring and didn't want to have it altered in any way to fit a band so I just don't have one. It's not a big deal to either one of us because we don't need a piece of jewelry to define who we are as a couple. We've talked about maybe down the road for an anniversary having something made but for now we're both content. He has a band, I have an engagement ring. Enough said.

Ellen Waltos

My grandparents were not very well off when they first got married and my Grandma eventually ended up with the three wedding sets. Whenever my Grandpa had enough money he got her a set he thought she deserved.

Shandi80 Shandi80

My dear goodness, woman. Just go buy a basic 10k gold band. Your ring probably contains nickel, which is why you're breaking out. A ring is just a ring, but a marriage commitment is forever.

schlis schlis

My husband and I spent $100 for BOTH of our rings. They're silver, from James Avery. Sturdy, pretty, and I can have them polished at no charge for the rest of my life.

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