When you live in cramped quarters -- which basically means any apartment building in any city you can think of -- you get used to hearing many sounds made, mostly unknowingly, by your neighbors. You can listen to them argue. You hear them flush their toilets while you apply your makeup in the bathroom. When they have loud parties, which I hope for you only happens around the holidays, you grin and bear it because lord knows your friends are anything but quiet after a few cocktails.

But one woman in Chicago decided enough was enough after having to hear her awesome and sexually satisfied neighbor do the deed a little too loudly. So she did something that has never worked for any person living in any apartment ever and left a nasty note on her door. And it didn't end there. 

In the fed-up woman's note, she basically requested that her neighbor put on a record because she doesn't want to hear her every moan. Then she added the sassy line, "Luckily for me it never lasts very long."

Oooooh, snap. Your turn, Awesome Sexually Satisfied Neighbor.

And Neighbor, who calls herself "The girl in 517," doesn't disappoint. She retaliates by tacking up her own lengthy missive on HER OWN door (and she keeps her neighbor's note up, as well, just to be a badass) in which she responds:

Your obvious frustration from my pleasure saddens + confuses me. I'm not yelling, or anything terribly disrespectful. Apparently, we have the thinnest walls on Earth because -- I assure you -- the moans you're so upset by are masturbation induced. That's why it "doesn't last very long." I know what I'm doing and porn is free, + I have the best vibrator. I got it at Taboo Taboo [sic] down the street. You should really invest in one -- you sound a bit, uh, tense...

And then, for good measure, she adds: 

I am proud of my sexuality, so your attempted SLUT-SHAMING is useless here. Had you approached me n a respectful manner, I would have been happy to oblige.

Good for her! I mean, if the noises were really all that loud and disturbing and her neighbor couldn't take it anymore, I get it. But at the very least, ring her doorbell and confront her like a human being. The only reason this story leaked to begin with was because a third neighbor noticed the letters on the door, snapped a photo, and posted it to Reddit. Clearly, you should know there's a chance you are going to embarrass someone if you post a note like this to their door (though 517 girl doesn't seem like the type who shames easily).

Of all the noises that can be heard in an apartment, sex noises are the least offensive, in my opinion. They're often hilarious and sometimes pretty hot. And I just can't imagine getting so worked up over them.

Would you complain if your neighbors were loud during sex?

 

Image via Reddit