Women are often talking or thinking about how to have an orgasm. If you aren't, you should be because the sad fact is that too many women aren't experiencing orgasmic pleasure often enough. Sure we can have great sex without having an orgasm, but I think we all deserve an orgasm now and then, too.
The Big O is sometimes really shy and needs some coaxing. Coaxing that isn't going to happen during a one-night stand. This new study shows how there is inequality happening in casual hookups -- women just aren't having orgasms like men can. And we can learn a whole lot about the reason many women, even those who are in committed relationships, aren't reaching climax from this study.
The study by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and researchers at Binghamton University examined 600 women and found that we are less likely to have the Big O from an uncommitted sexual liaison. Women were twice as likely to have an orgasm if they relationship was serious. So for casual hook-ups it seems we just can never get comfortable enough and let our guard down enough to really let go and essentially allow an orgasm. If we are worried about every little thing, there isn't the concentration or the ability to focus on feeling pleasure. I feel the same reasoning can be applied even for women who are in serious, long-term relationships.
Too many women aren't letting go or telling their partner what they want or what they need to have an orgasm. We don't all do it in serious relationships and we certainly don't always do it during casual sex. And I think if a woman is married for many years and never shared what she truly needed in the bedroom with her partner, chances are she may never do so. Why are so many of us so quiet when it comes to what we need sexually?
The answers to that vary. We are uptight. We don't care that much. We take care of ourselves in five minutes every couple of weeks. He doesn't know what he's doing. We don't have time.
I think those excuses need to stop. Not only should all women make it their business to reach orgasm from their partner, but men should as well. And, ladies, we all have to stop faking it so the man really knows if he's pleasing us or not. Of course it would also be great if all men made it their mission to truly pleasure a woman. All the love in the world to those men.
Do you find that you can reach orgasm better when you are fully relaxed and take the time to tell your partner what you want? What do you think of this study and idea?
Image via Daniel Lobo/Flickr