10 Things to Love About Being Single After a Divorce

Love & Learn 28

Cheers to the single life!
Ok, let me get the whole “divorce sucks and no one likes it and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy” crap out of the way. Because it does suck, and given my druthers, I’d very much prefer to be happily married than single for the first time since I was 18.

But them's the breaks, and you got to make the best of what you have, right? So if I have to live without the perks of having a man around the house, I’m sure as heck going to enjoy the single life as much as I possibly can, and in a way I never did before I lived with a man for more than a decade.

Here are the top 10 things I’m loving about being single after divorce.

  1. No snoring man in my bed. It’s awesome you guys. So awesome that if I ever decide to get married again, I’m contemplating suggesting separate bedrooms.
  2. I’ve overcome my fear of killing spiders. I tried trapping them under glasses, but they didn’t magically disappear at the end of the day like they used to when I was married. Huh.
  3. When I clean something it stays clean (at least until the kids get home). Actually, the house is more often than not a bit messy (hello, single working mom life!), but the point is that they’re all MY messes.
  4. All the remotes belong to me. And all the TV control that comes with them.
  5. Decorating how I want. I just bought a purple shag rug for my family room. I’m in love.
  6. Reading “trashy” magazines without judgey looks or comments. Sometimes I just want to chill out and read about how to “eat, drink, and twerk my ass off” this Christmas. (That would be the December issue of Cosmo, for those that are interested.)
  7. I got a cat. The ex was allergic ... Her name is Oswin. She’s a cuddle bug and I love her.
  8. Routine. Sweet, sweet, predictable routine. Even when things were good in my marriage, the fact that I could never predict when he’d get home from work drove me batty.
  9. My own bedtime. Whether it’s 9 p.m. or 1 a.m., I go to bed when I’m tired these days, guilt free.
  10. Real breaks. When you’re a mom, you always kind of feel like you’re “on-call” for your kids, even when they’re at the grandparents or with a sitter. Now, when my kids are with their dad, I hang my mommy hat in the closet and enjoy the time off from parenting.

What's your least favorite thing about living with a man?


Image via Jenny Erikson

breakups, commitment, divorce, exes, single moms


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nonmember avatar Anner

The bed time was a big thing for me. If I did not go to bed exactly when he did I either went to bed too early or too late.

nonmember avatar anonymous

I'm sorry to hear that you went through a divorce, but aren't you the one who wrote a blog a while back about how wonderful it is to get married young? Guess that didn't work out so well, after all?

KathyTh. KathyTh.

From your column on June 14, 2012. Maybe you should have partied some more.
"I have grown up this past decade. I’ve done it with my best friend and life partner right by my side. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, let alone for a decade of self-discovery through partying."

nonmember avatar Rocin

Yeah, Catty Th, never have hope, express hope, never put on a happy face and try again, yeah, . . .

KathyTh. KathyTh.

Rocin, I wasn't being nasty. I was just saying that sometimes there are good reasons why people don't marry young. If I had married young, I would have been divorced long ago. I just think that maturity makes a big difference. That's all.

nonmember avatar Rocin

@Kathy: O. Sorry. I agree with you.

nonmember avatar randi

I agree with Kathy T. Your idea of a perfect mate at 19 changes quite a bit by the time you're 28. I don't think marrying young is ever a good idea. That's not to say that it never lasts, but it's rare.

Bubsy Bubsy

KathyTh - While I generally find Jenny to be quite annoying in most aspects, I would have to disagree in part with your comment on the grounds that I honestly don't believe that age and maturity always correlate to one another. I think a succesful relationship has less to do with not marrying young, than it does with not marrying until you're emotionally ready, and for some people, that comes sooner than others. I know plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who honestly aren't mature enough to have a healthy, functional relationship. While, on the other hand, I know many people in their young 20s who have healthier relationships than a lot of middle aged people. 

nonmember avatar zach

Sorry to hear you had to go thru that. Maybe you can parlay some of that emotion into being more compassionate toward others who are not as fortunate as you are in other ways.

Carmie Arcaro Kinsey

Being single - though lonely @ times has it's perks...

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