In a recent interview, Ethan Hawke opened up about his views of monogamy and fidelity, and given the allegations surrounding his 2004 divorce from Uma Thurman, I think it’s safe to say no one was shocked.
Although Hawke has remained adamant that he never cheated on Thurman, his recent comments on how monogamy is immature are bound to raise some eyebrows.
"People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity," the actor said. "'He's cheated so he's bad, she's cheated so she's bad', as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous."
Ok, I’m with him to a point -- someone that cheats might not be an all-bad person, but there’s no doubt they did a very bad thing. Good people do bad things all the time. If you’ve ever told a lie, hidden a truth, blamed someone else for your mistakes, or even taken your temper out on someone that didn’t deserve it -- you did a bad thing.
But this whole idea that we can excuse bad behavior because it’s not natural? It’s ridiculous. Monogamy may or may not be our natural state of being, but it’s entirely irrelevant because guess what? We humans have free will.
If I were allowed to live in my natural state, so to speak, I probably wouldn’t be sitting at my computer typing this story for y’all. My kids wouldn’t be at school because getting up at 6:30 and getting them ready and out the door is the total opposite of my nature. There would be no groceries in my fridge because I hate grocery shopping, and my pants wouldn’t fit because I’d eat cheese and bread and maybe steak all day long. And margaritas.
It’s our natural state as humans to do what we want to do -- but we curb our selfish desires because it’s better to be a functional person with functional relationships.
So yeah, monogamy is hard when you get to the point in your relationship when the googly eyes have long since vanished. But you do it because you know that it’s in the best interest of your marriage to not betray your spouse in such an intimate way.
Sorry Ethan. You’re cute and all, but you’re wrong on this one. We go against our natural state of being every day. Why is monogamy any different?
Do you think monogamy is inherent or unnatural to humans?
Image via Christopher Harte/Flickr