3 Times a 'Sex Strike' Is Actually a Great Idea

LOL 67

The women in a small town in Colombia were fed up because the one road that led them to the nearest big city was in total disrepair. It was so bad that it took up to 14 hours to reach their "local" hospital and there were even reports of pregnant women dying in the ambulance on their way to give birth. Community board meetings and red tape, be damned! These women took matters into their own hands and did the one thing they knew would spur their men to take action and fix the road: they banded together and agreed to withhold sex until the job was done. Conniving and manipulative? Maybe. But you can add "effective" to that list because their protest, called the "crossed legs movement," is working like a charm.

This is the second time the women in this town have declared a sex strike in order to get the road repaired. The last time they did this was two years ago, and although they were promised a new street, nothing happened. But this time around, bulldozers, machinery, and working men are out in full force, proving you've got to at least wait for construction to begin before you take off your clothes. 

In all seriousness though, I typically feel it's pretty crappy to withhold sex and pleasure in order to get someone to do something for you. Have your eye on a gold bracelet and not giving it up 'til your husband breaks down and buys it for you? Bad, bad reason to withhold sex. But in this case it feels like the cause is important enough to break that rule. These women know they have one bargaining chip and they're using it for the greater good. 

And there are at least three more times when I think it's completely acceptable to withhold sex from a partner:

He refuses to hold up his end of the parenting duties and you're exhausted as a result. If you're the only one who gets up in the middle of the night, feeds, disciplines, and plays with the children, sex with your partner is probably going to be the last thing on your mind anyway -- at least until he starts pitching in. 

You've caught him sexting/endlessly texting another woman. Even if he says she's a work colleague, I would quickly construct a self-respect wall all around my privates and not cave in until that matter is resolved. 

You know that if you withhold sex tonight, tomorrow's sex is going to be even better. There are positive reasons to withhold sex, too! Sometimes flirting, getting each other hot and bothered, and then walking away makes for an even more interesting next day. 

Have you ever withheld sex to get something you wanted? 


Image via _nickd/Flickr

commitment, dating, erotica, hooking up, love, marriage, orgasm, romance tip, sex, sex drive, sexuality


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nonmember avatar J

"These women know they have one bargaining chip and they're using it for the greater good."

Prostitution is okay if it's "for the greater good," because the ends justify the means, right? Listen to yourself.

ktobin2 ktobin2

Sex strikes are stupid. If he's not putting in any effort into parenting, talk to him. If he's sexting (seriously?) other women, what the hell are you still doing with him?

Ronald Eugene Matthews

If he cant get it at home he will find it someplace else!!!

nonmember avatar wayne church

Maybe all the women in the coming elections in the usa,If they know their man,(Or woman)is going to vote for a democrat***They should cross their legs starting now* 10-24-13 Better keep their mouth closed too* wc

nonmember avatar mike

If he is sexting other women then you stop giving it up. He will just have sex with the other women.

nonmember avatar Margaret Opine

JUVENILE! I couldn't believe what I read in this article and comments. Some women in Columbia needed a better road so they used "no sex" to get their men to build the roads and stop putting it off, "girl power", and the next thing we get in the comments is a tag on them as prostitutes and people talking about when it is right to refuse sex and when it is not. This story which is likely covered somewhere else online is about women in a another world becoming conscious of girl-power and trying it out--the males didn't have to agree with this movement--and compare the parameters in a Columbian world with culture in the U.S. That's like comparing Oranges with pickles. I wrote this comment because as I was re-reading the article I said to myself, this reads like the Columbian women are democrats and this article and comments are written by republicans and that's what the problem is. One group behaves maturely and the other groups behaves juvenile in the U.S.--MO

James P. Strittmatter

There was an ancient Greek play with a similar theme. Nothing new under the sun.

nonmember avatar cscramer

In a quick read of reactions, apparently people no longer know the play Lysistrata. A play by Aristophanes in Greece. I applaud the women. At least it worked. Please read Lysistrata. You can say you read one classic and it is great fun. Something for women around the world to think of. Different cultures have different ways. Along that line,a good book is The Shattered Chain by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It might just open your eyes and mind.

nonmember avatar Liam

James, the play you are referring to is called Lysistrata by Aristophanes. In it the women of a town are very angry because their husbands are always at war. They want them to stop, so when all the husbands get home, the women tempt the men, then basically refuse to have sex at all. This is an important play because it shows how women have power, even though they are viewed as powerless in that society. I see no problem with using this method now, if a women finds their man going to other women, that proves that he has no devotion to their relationship. I wouldn't abandon my wife (if I had one) just over her abstainance.

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