"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
Marie* has been living with a secret for almost three years and she just recently told her husband Jack* of 10 years about it. She had an affair -- a very involved romance with a co-worker. She got pregnant. She already had two kids with her husband and she considered having this third child. But her lover convinced her to have an abortion. The guilt and pain from the experience have made her come clean. And now she and Jack are learning how to move forward. I'll let Marie explain.
I am a happily married woman, but something happened three years ago that made me question everything. I did something I never thought I would do -- I had an affair. It happened during a time that my husband Jack and I weren't getting along very well. We were having some financial issues and a home project was making us both insane and we would fight about it a lot. So I decided I should make some time for myself here and there. I'd get a manicure on the weekends or hang out with co-workers once in a while after work. These were things I typically didn't do much. I liked my little bits of independence and I also liked the attention I was getting from one of the guys who worked at the company I work for -- only he was in a different division so he wasn't someone I interacted with daily.
Matthew* was single, divorced actually, with no kids. I was married, very married, with two kids in elementary school. I was a mom in the fullest sense of the word. I was having issues with my husband and we were hardly ever intimate. And here was a guy who was interested in me. It was shocking to tell you the truth. I thought that ship had sailed long ago. I relished the attention. And it led to me back at Matthew's house. Many, many times. This went on for about five months. Until I got pregnant. I knew it was Matthew's because I hadn't had sex with Jack since I began cheating on him with Matthew. I was so conflicted. I thought about having sex with Jack and just telling him it was his. I thought about being with Matthew and leaving Jack. I thought of everything.
Me getting pregnant was it for Matthew. He wanted it over -- the pregnancy and the affair. This stupid fantasy land I was living in was abruptly over. And I realized all my wrongs. I had an abortion and lived with my guilt for three years. Earlier this year I told my husband everything.
Our relationship had gotten so much better after my affair. I realized so much and made sure Jack knew how much I loved him and never wanted to lose him. But he didn't know about Matthew then. Now that he does, it's very rocky. It's making him question everything we are to each other, but I feel better now that I've told him the whole truth. I'm doing everything I can to save this marriage. We are in couples' therapy. We are trying to work it all out. But it's hard. Very hard. And not anything I would wish upon my worst enemy. I'm hopeful we can make it through this, but I'm not sure if Jack will be able to.
What do you think of this confession? Can a spouse learn to forgive and move on from this? Can a relationship survive something like this?
*Names have been changed.
Image via Karen Dalziel/Flickr