Sex Confession: Cheating Wife Admits She Got Pregnant From Her Lover

Say What!? 48

lie"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Marie* has been living with a secret for almost three years and she just recently told her husband Jack* of 10 years about it. She had an affair -- a very involved romance with a co-worker. She got pregnant. She already had two kids with her husband and she considered having this third child. But her lover convinced her to have an abortion. The guilt and pain from the experience have made her come clean. And now she and Jack are learning how to move forward. I'll let Marie explain.

I am a happily married woman, but something happened three years ago that made me question everything. I did something I never thought I would do -- I had an affair. It happened during a time that my husband Jack and I weren't getting along very well. We were having some financial issues and a home project was making us both insane and we would fight about it a lot. So I decided I should make some time for myself here and there. I'd get a manicure on the weekends or hang out with co-workers once in a while after work. These were things I typically didn't do much. I liked my little bits of independence and I also liked the attention I was getting from one of the guys who worked at the company I work for -- only he was in a different division so he wasn't someone I interacted with daily.

Matthew* was single, divorced actually, with no kids. I was married, very married, with two kids in elementary school. I was a mom in the fullest sense of the word. I was having issues with my husband and we were hardly ever intimate. And here was a guy who was interested in me. It was shocking to tell you the truth. I thought that ship had sailed long ago. I relished the attention. And it led to me back at Matthew's house. Many, many times. This went on for about five months. Until I got pregnant. I knew it was Matthew's because I hadn't had sex with Jack since I began cheating on him with Matthew. I was so conflicted. I thought about having sex with Jack and just telling him it was his. I thought about being with Matthew and leaving Jack. I thought of everything.

Me getting pregnant was it for Matthew. He wanted it over -- the pregnancy and the affair. This stupid fantasy land I was living in was abruptly over. And I realized all my wrongs. I had an abortion and lived with my guilt for three years. Earlier this year I told my husband everything.

Our relationship had gotten so much better after my affair. I realized so much and made sure Jack knew how much I loved him and never wanted to lose him. But he didn't know about Matthew then. Now that he does, it's very rocky. It's making him question everything we are to each other, but I feel better now that I've told him the whole truth. I'm doing everything I can to save this marriage. We are in couples' therapy. We are trying to work it all out. But it's hard. Very hard. And not anything I would wish upon my worst enemy. I'm hopeful we can make it through this, but I'm not sure if Jack will be able to.

What do you think of this confession? Can a spouse learn to forgive and move on from this? Can a relationship survive something like this?


*Names have been changed.

Image via Karen Dalziel/Flickr

cheating, marriage, lying, sex confession

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the4m... the4mutts

If you're clearing your conscience at the expense of your partner's feelings, and your confession hurts the relationship instead of helps it, then you're a selfish bitch for fessing up just so you didnt have to live with it.

Now you've hurt your husband, who probably could have gone the rest of his life without ever having to be hurt by this. You waited 3 years, till things were going GOOD to spill your guts??? Selfish, selfish.

flood... flood1971

@ the4mutts- we always talk about people doing the right thing. Being truth full. How is this wrong? Does it hurt her husband? Of course it does. Which is really sad. But if you were him, wouldn't you rather know? Not functioning on facts is much worse, I think. Her lie afforded her a pretty calm life. Going on as it was, not too many worries. She did not make her life easier by owning this. He might very well leave. The consequences might be devastating. Good for her for coming clean. And the end if the day she gave him a choice based on the truth. And that is respect, even if the situation didn't start of with respect. We all screw up, sometimes we can't fix it. But I appreciate that she took this path, instead of continually lying.

the4m... the4mutts

Honesty is not the best policy in all cases. I am about to get married, and I can honestly say that if my s/o had done something skeevy, I would rather know NOW, than be happy for 3 years and feel like 3 whole years of my life, and the entirety of my marriage had been a lie. I would rather have a month ruined, and possibly fix it, than try to work through 3 years of secrets and lies....

the4m... the4mutts

And if that means I never found out, so be it. Better than ruining my whole life for something that hadnt been an issue for years.

this poor guy thought shit was going good, and had his world turned upside down, for essentially a non-issue

flood... flood1971

An affair followed by an abortion is hardly a non- issue. Do you really think that people that screw up come home immediately after and say- hey honey, cheated on you, had an abortion, let's see doctor Phil? Hardly. Not how real life works. Humans are flawed and afraid. Good that your compass is so great, and you can fess up all your transcretions right away. But for the rest of the mortals, good for her for owning it at all. We all fail, in different scenarios. Moral superiority allows no room for forgiveness or redemption. And all of us will require some of that in our lifetime. Loose the high horse.

flood... flood1971

* Transgressions

Tonia Hanna

Actually, I'm with the4mutts......why bother now. If I were to find out my so cheated in the past and now wants to come clean for "his peace of mind" I'd yank his balls out! It's come clean early or live with your own guilt, especially if no ones the wiser and you're not or haven't repeated the mistake. Why make everyone question everything in their life over a mistake 3 yrs ago?

FireM... FireMoonGypsy

I think it's important to get those "truths" out on the table. By allowing that to eat you up inside, you are doing the relationship a disservice because until that's out of the way, the guilt holds you back from giving your all to the relationship. 


Omitting that truth and carrying that burden isn't easy; neither is confessing to your husband. Even though things were better, carrying that around was causing a lot of horrible pain. Your actions are on you, I am in no way condoning the affair. That being said, you AND your husband are in this marriage. TOGETHER. You BOTH are responsible for what happens in it. I'd say the same if the roles were reversed and your husband was feeling horribly neglected or beat down by constant arguments and fighting. It would be HIS fault for making the wrong decision to cheat on you, but because you're both in the relationship, you're both responsible for parts of it. 


People CAN get past cheating. It's very, very hard, but it's possible. It takes a lot of forgiveness and a lot of letting go. I'm not saying it will happen...but there is hope. All you can do is give it your all and see what happens. 


Good luck. I sincerely mean that. 

NatAndCo NatAndCo

He needed to know if not for any other reason then to get tested. However I agree with mutts, she should've told him immediately. She only told him after 3 years to make herself feel better and that's the definition of selfish. She hurt him to alleviate her own suffering. But really why would this be a surprise? She cheated in her husband, got knocked up, had an abortion... She was selfish from the beginning.

the4m... the4mutts

Im not saying that she should have told on like the same day. But damn. A month, even a few months, is better than 3 years. After that long, as long as she has remained faithful since then, it has become a non-issue.

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