We all know some many women fake their orgasms. But did you know some men fake orgasms, too? It defies logic, I know. But according to a DatingAdvice.com poll, 22 percent of the male respondents admitted they had faked a climax. And who knows what's really going on, because that does not sound like the kind of question a lot of guys would answer truthfully. Still, I would like to know how exactly this faking it works for men.
How does a guy fake a climax? I mean, they usually produce evidence, if you know what I mean. Sure there are a few exceptions, but not for 22 percent of the male population. What's going on there? Are women experiencing something along the lines of "... did he?... huh, I didn't see or feel any... that's weird... Okay, well, whatever." And then she rolls over and falls asleep and no one ever talks about it because it's just too awkward.
Actually, says psychologist Seth Meyers (not to be confused with the SNL writer), yes. That is pretty much what happens.
The main reason men fake it is to avoid having to talk about any potential sex issue. The fear is that not having an orgasm – and telling the truth about it – could generate anxiety in their partner and invite endless discussion. Men would rather avoid the issue altogether than confront it directly.
Geez Louise, why is sex so stressful for everyone? It's supposed to be fun. Can we all agree to stop putting so much pressure on each other? Sex is kind of messy and unruly sometimes -- you just have to enjoy the ride and not obsess over the ULTIMATE GOAL. Even though, yes, everyone wants that ultimate goal. Well, most of us, anyway.
And if the ULTIMATE GOAL is more about your ego, or anxieties, than about connection and pleasure... well, that just makes me sad. That makes sex sad. Sex is sad when you fake your orgasms, people. Don't do that to sex.
Women are even worse. Don't get me started -- according to one study, a quarter of women fake it every time. Please tell me that's not true! Here's the thing -- I think if you get into the habit of faking it, you lose your ability to have a real orgasm. You know?
We're not all capable of mind-blowing sexual prowess 100 percent of the time, but we all have the capacity for connection and pleasure. If I could have one wish for the world, it would be for us all to realize that and stop faking orgasms. Actually, no. If I could have one wish for the world, it would be to end hunger. But still, this would come in like fifth or sixth. Stop faking it, everyone. Don't freak out if your partner doesn't climax. It's okay. We're all just having fun here, all right?
Have you ever suspected a man of faking an orgasm?
Image via Jesse Pearl/Flickr