7 Telltale Signs Her Orgasm Is a Total Fake

OMG 5

Hey, remember that famous scene in When Harry Met Sally ... when Sally, played by Meg Ryan, decided to fake a huge orgasm in the middle of a restaurant to prove to Harry that he wouldn't know the difference between a fake one and a real one? Haha. BEST. SCENE. EVER. I did always wonder what Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan's husband at the time, thought about it though. Was he all like, "Hey, wait just a gosh darn minute, that sounds familiar!"? Anyway, Billy Crystal went on Today and recounted how that famous fake orgasm scene came about (so to speak, har har).

It apparently was improvised by writer Nora Ephron, Billy, and Meg. Billy came up with the hysterical "I'll have what she's having" line. So how DO you know if a lady is faking? Here are seven signs she's giving you the ol' fakearoo.

- Yelling and screaming. Yeah, I know women who say they truly do yell and scream while orgasming, but c'mon, no one NEEDS to break the sound barrier during an orgasm. If your lady is, chances are she's embellishing her performance for your ego.

- Nothing contracts. Women have muscular contractions when they orgasm, so if things feel exactly the same down there when she orgasms as when she's asleep, well, you might have yourself a faker.

- She doesn't heat up. A woman's temperature rises when she orgasms. If she's still cool as a cucumber after having a seismic 'gasm, she's probably really thinking about the dirty dishes.

- She doesn't want oral sex. Most -- not all -- but most women can't have purely vaginal orgasms. So if you think your peter is doing the entire trick, she might be putting on a show.

- She's not breathing rapidly. Although this is a classic "sign" of not really having an orgasm, I'm not so sure it's true. But I read it. So there.

- She starts banging her hands on the headboard. Surefire sign of a faker.

- You ask her a question mid-orgasm and her answer makes total sense. Yeah, trust me, fellas, we can't speak or think when the big O is legit.

Now, in truth, guys, every gal is different. If your lady is doing any of these things, please don't accuse her of being a faker. (Except the headboard banger. She's a total drama queen.) If you think your gal might be faking, there's probably a reason. And it may not have anything to do with you or your performance.

Some women just have a really difficult time of it. And they don't want to get into a huge discussion about it, so they'd rather fake it. Some women totally enjoy sex without orgasming. And some women are tired, stressed, or thinking about any of life's myriad issues. Women can't easily turn off our minds when we have sex. And our bodies are much more mercurial than a man's. Sometimes, no matter how much we chase the big O, we just can't catch it. It's not our fault. It's not your fault. It's the fault of whoever made our bodies so complex! (Thanks, God!)

Don't EVER ask a woman if she's faking (she'll just deny, deny, deny). Instead, ask something like, "What can I do to please you?" or "How do you like this?" or "Tell me what I can do here, or there." Be polite and interested and non-judgmental. Ask if she'd like a vibrator or warming gel. Maybe she'd love a massage! Maybe she needs more nipple play or none at all.

And if it doesn't happen, don't worry. There's always next time.

Do you ever fake it? If so, how?


Image via Yura Dashevsky/YouTube

orgasm, sex

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Freela Freela

Disagree with the first one... though I've learned to be more quiet since having children so I don't shell out for therapy later!

SaphireH SaphireH

I am loud when it comes to sex depending on the guy but just like freela i learned to be quiet now i have kids but if we are alone all bets are off

L.W.H L.W.H

Lol. This is funny. And mostly true for me. I might have to show this to my hub when he gets home from work... Maybe not. Lol.

Jespren Jespren

I think given the range of women the only ones that can really be considered 'true' are the muscle contractions and warming up. Everything else is personal preference or personal quirks. Also, doing something you don't *have* to do (voluntary vs involuntary) doesn't mean you're faking the orgasm.

Sara Reed

Thanks for helping debunk myths around orgasms.

In our work treating female sexual dysfunction at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in NY, we often meet women who are feeling confused and insecure by the fact that their orgasms don't look like those in movies; or, they are having orgasms but didn't they were because of the lack of drama involved. As you said in your article, most women do not have orgasms from intercourse alone, but the misinformation out there leads many women to believe they are the exception, not the rule.

With more articles like these, fewer women will feel confused and isolated and will realize that they are not as abnormal as they may fear.
Hopefully

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