Sex Confession: Wife Freaked Out About Husband's Fantasy


thumbs down"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Fantasies are fun to have but not always fun to act out. And some fantasies just should never be shared with others not even your wife or husband. When Chris* told his wife of 7 years Jamie* that his favorite fantasy is thinking of Jamie and her best friend Karen* getting frisky with each other it didn't go over very well. In fact, Jamie is now really freaked out and doesn't want to be in the same room with her best friend and husband for fear that things will get too weird for her wondering what's going on in her Chris's head. Tough one. I'll let Jamie explain the situation.

About two months ago Chris and I were out to dinner and having a great time and a few drinks when we started talking about sex. We do this a lot -- we have a great sex life and 3 kids to prove it. But what happened differently this time is he told me that he sometimes fantasizes about me and my best friend Karen having sex. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT????

I'm no prude or at least I didn't think so but I don't want my husband thinking about my best friends doing naughty things to me. I don't want him thinking about my best friend naked and me doing sexy things to her. It creeps me out. So I told him. And it didn't go over well because he was weirded out that I was weirded out and then we were both weird to each other and haven't had sex since.

Now this is odd for us -- we have sex quite often, probably about three or four times a week. And now we're both afraid to try sexy time stuff with the other one becasue of the huge best friend fantasy elephant in the room. And I don't want to have Karen over because I'm just freaked out about the whole darn thing and fear I will act weird or I'll think Chris is acting weird and so everything is just a bit wonky right now because of this fantasy I wish my husband didn't tell me about.

He feels awful and wishes he didn't tell me either. He's assured me it's no big thing and that I should just forget it but I can't.

What do you think Jamie should do? Should she just forget it and not make a big deal about it?


*Names have been changed.

Image via Pete/Flickr

marriage, sex confession


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Craft... CraftyJenna

People can't always help what they fantasize about- it's not like he asked her for a threesome, he just said it's something he's thought about. Who hasn't had a sex dream about someone they would never actually have sex with? She's never once daydreamed about something unrealistic? I think she needs to calm down and forget about it. 

adamat34 adamat34

I think your over reacting. This is not an uncommon fantasy.

You asked, he told. Let it go. Laugh it off. Men and women fantasize constantly. Im sure you husband has WAY weirder fantasies than this one. Just dont ask or you may never have sex again.

Coles... Coles_mom

I'm all for an active "fantasy" life...and I've never had a problem dropping George Clooney's name as a "hell yeah". I think the problem is it's a "real" person. I'd get pissed too. My husband has a crush on Scarlett Johannsen. Doesn bother me on the least. My best friend? No way.

Kelby Johnson

My husband makes comments about my best friend and I being together all the time.  I don't think it's really that big of a deal.  Usually when she's over to our house he will joke about us making out or getting naked together.  We just laugh it off.  I think she's over reacting.

nonmember avatar Dianne

My ex husband admitted that once. He's married to her now.

BGarcel BGarcel

Would everyone still say the same thing if it was the wife who had a threesome fantasy with her husband and her husband's best friend? People are allowed to fantasize.

youth... youthfulsoul

I doubt that news would go over very well in my household either.

Blues... Blueshark77

I would be icked out by it, just because I definitely wouldn't want to get it on with any of my girl friends, but it's just a fantasy for her husband. Get over it!

nonmember avatar FarmersWife

That would bother me. I think it's disrespectful to both his wife and her friend. Sure he's going to look at other women but he should try to push those thoughts out of his head rather than welcome and build on them. Because our physical and emotional commitment is to each other, we try not to imagine any other specific person. Imagining a "generic" (made up) person is the furthest we try to take it, if that makes sense. Building a fantacy about a real person in our lives would be a major breach of emotional commitment.

nonmember avatar cassandra

Real question is do you trust your husband or not? And in my opinion this is not a big deal and more common than you think....fantasies are just that fantasy

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