It seems as though there is a trend lately of badly behaved brides who expect their wedding guests to provide them with at least the cost of their meal (and then some) at their weddings or to be prepared to face their wrath. First there was the bride who did not enjoy her guest's thoughtful gift basket (and she let them know) and then there was the bride who had the nerve to complain about a cash-strapped guest's "cheap" $100 cash gift. What is wrong with these people?
It seems these rude brides are not alone. An article in the Sunday styles section of the New York Times highlighted a series of brides and grooms, some of whom have been married close to a decade, who are STILL angry over their wedding gifts -- or lack thereof -- and can't forgive the friends who cheated them.
Are they out of their minds? How is this a news story?
When I got married a decade ago, we registered and we got a lot of beautiful, generous gifts. We still use our copper pots and crystal, among other things and when I do, I remember the people who bought each item for me and I appreciate them.
But I also remember the fun of my wedding and the number of people who trekked all the way across the country to see us get married and gave us a ton of love. Whether they gave me gifts or not is really beside the point. I was just glad they were there.
I am not sure when weddings became opportunities to be completely greedy, but it does seem as though they really have. Obviously, weddings are expensive, but if you choose to have a $200 a plate wedding in a part of the country that is very expensive, then that is your choice.
Guests should not be expected to make their gift according to the budget of the bride. A gift is an expression of love and should reflect the budget of the guest. And you know what? A gift is not mandatory, either. There are plenty of circumstances under which it is perfectly acceptable not to bring a gift.
If someone spends more than $2,000 to come to your wedding (hotel, airfare, etc.) then really to ALSO expect a gift is a little selfish. If they can provide one, awesome. But if not, wouldn't we all rather have our loved ones present?
It is sad that we are letting go of all the beauty of weddings in favor of viewing them as fund-raising opportunities. They are not. We are lucky when people come to love us at all. It makes me sad that so few people remember that.
Did you expect a gift from everyone at your wedding?
Image via torbakhopper /Flickr