Greedy Brides Still Angry at Guests Who Didn't Give Them Wedding Gifts 10 Years Ago

wedding giftsIt seems as though there is a trend lately of badly behaved brides who expect their wedding guests to provide them with at least the cost of their meal (and then some) at their weddings or to be prepared to face their wrath. First there was the bride who did not enjoy her guest's thoughtful gift basket (and she let them know) and then there was the bride who had the nerve to complain about a cash-strapped guest's "cheap" $100 cash gift. What is wrong with these people?

It seems these rude brides are not alone. An article in the Sunday styles section of the New York Times highlighted a series of brides and grooms, some of whom have been married close to a decade, who are STILL angry over their wedding gifts -- or lack thereof -- and can't forgive the friends who cheated them.

Are they out of their minds? How is this a news story?

When I got married a decade ago, we registered and we got a lot of beautiful, generous gifts. We still use our copper pots and crystal, among other things and when I do, I remember the people who bought each item for me and I appreciate them.

But I also remember the fun of my wedding and the number of people who trekked all the way across the country to see us get married and gave us a ton of love. Whether they gave me gifts or not is really beside the point. I was just glad they were there.

I am not sure when weddings became opportunities to be completely greedy, but it does seem as though they really have. Obviously, weddings are expensive, but if you choose to have a $200 a plate wedding in a part of the country that is very expensive, then that is your choice.

Guests should not be expected to make their gift according to the budget of the bride. A gift is an expression of love and should reflect the budget of the guest. And you know what? A gift is not mandatory, either. There are plenty of circumstances under which it is perfectly acceptable not to bring a gift.

If someone spends more than $2,000 to come to your wedding (hotel, airfare, etc.) then really to ALSO expect a gift is a little selfish. If they can provide one, awesome. But if not, wouldn't we all rather have our loved ones present?

It is sad that we are letting go of all the beauty of weddings in favor of viewing them as fund-raising opportunities. They are not. We are lucky when people come to love us at all. It makes me sad that so few people remember that.

Did you expect a gift from everyone at your wedding?

 

Image via torbakhopper /Flickr

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fave82 fave82

I did expect a gift from everyone attending.. However, the economy being what it was, I would never fault someone for not giving me a certain amount. I had a few old coworkers who only gave $25 and I was grateful that they came to the wedding and gave anything at all.


I will say though, One of my husbands friends came with his girlfriend and gave us gag gifts... That is something that annoyed the crap outta me and I thought was pretty rude. I mean really, I'd rather get nothing then 2 copies of "Roadhouse" on dvd (his and hers!)

fave82 fave82

*than

B1Bomber B1Bomber

We specifically asked people NOT to give gifts because we didn't need the money and didn't have room for the stuff.


We still got several thousand dollars in cash and gift cards, though, as well as cards with notes about how our friends donated to various charities with the money they would have spent on our gifts.

schlis schlis

I was suprised that we got any at all. I'd never been to a wedding and didn't know gifts were given.

tabby... tabby1979

wow...only thing i was upset about was the fact only 2 people gave me cards (wanted them for my scrapbook)....I know my family can't afford gifts.

eleph... elephantmamaof2

No, I didn't, I was just happy to have everyone there. And honestly, if there was anyone who didn't give a gift, I didn't even notice. We had SO many cards to go through that who we were "missing" a card from didn't even cross my mind.

C Elizabeth Sheehy

 One of my friends was initially reluctant to attend b/c she couldn't afford a gift. I told her that she was my FRIEND, and I wanted her to come to my party and have fun, no gift necessary - her presence was the present! So glad she was there.

STRAW... STRAWBERRYRAIN

its expensive to be a guest at someones wedding, for me/hubs/3kids it cost us 1,000$ to be a guest at my nephews wedding and that was with my husband already having a suit and one of my daughters already having a dress. for a bride to be so greedy it astounds me. i am so glad my neice in law was not like that.

mamivon2 mamivon2

We didnt have a wedding we got married...

heath... heathermorn

Is anyone really surprised in this age when "Bridezilla" has become a common term?  If you are looking at your wedding as the most important day of your life, and wanting it all to be perfect (and for some people perfect means spending as much as a house), it's no wonder their priorities are totally out of whack!  Your wedding day should simply be a celebration of your marriage for the couple and their loved ones, and be about the experience, not the "stuff".  After all, your wedding day is ONE important day in your life, but focus on the marriage and not the wedding day.  My husband & I were married by a justice of the peace, and then had a lovely reception and dinner just with those closest to us, and I DID NOT, check to see that everyone brought a gift or how much the gifts were.  I was just thankful they were there to enjoy our special moment.

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