6 Ways One-Night Stands Can Lead You to True Love

Say What!? 7

knocked up still
Hey, it happened in Knocked Up!
In her new memoir, On My Knees, 37-year-old Periel Aschenbrand shares how after being devastated by her ten-year-long relationship going south, she picked up men in bars, had a fling with her boss, had sex with a fireman, and basically went BUCKWILD. It sounds like she lived out almost every scenario Samantha Jones encountered over the five seasons and two films' worth of Sex & the City. And the moral of the story: All those one-night standsled her to ... the man of her dreams. No, really!

On paper, it sounds nuts. Completely counterintuitive. But when you realize that it's not about having sex with a bunch of randoms so much as the attitude and state of mind associated with one-night stands, it makes sense! Here, six ways hooking up can actually lead you to The One ...    

  1. The one-night stand mentality can make you more openminded. When you're focused on just having fun in the present, you might let your guard down ... talk to more people ... be more laidback, relaxed, and open in a way that leads you to -- surprise! -- the right one!
  2. They can lower your expectations ... in a wonderful way. We often psych ourselves out by having lofty expectations in the dating world. By being in the one-night stand frame of mind, you stop worrying so much about whether or not someone is going to end up being the perfect partner, which in turn, takes a lot of pressure off of the situation! Aschenbrand admits, "I had no expectations when I met [my now-husband], so I just acted like myself." 
  3. They can make you more confident. Putting yourself out there to find casual sex requires a certain level of confidence, of course. But being in control of your sexual destiny is also confidence-boosting in itself. And the one thing most people say they find the sexiest in another person is what? Confidence, of course!
  4. You can better learn you what you want -- and what you don't. Talking to, dating, or yes, getting frisky with different people can give you an even better idea of what you're looking for and what you're NOT, therefore making your match even easier to spot.
  5. They can make you even more ready for a long-term relationship. Wild oats, sown
  6. They can make you even more grateful for your match. Sometimes we're not ready or willing to commit because we don't know how good something is that's right in front of us. Being in the one-night stand frame of mind for too long can get lonely and leave you feeling empty ... So when you make that special connection with someone, you really realize you'd be foolish to walk away.

How do you feel about the idea that being in a "one-night stand state of mind" can lead you to a seriously happy, long-term relationship?


Image via Universal

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I had a one night stand. That turned in to a two night stand...that turned in to him kinda' moving in with me. (I would "fall asleep" while we were watching movies so he wouldn't leave after the first week.) He was supposed to only be a random hook-up. Four years later we're getting to our three year wedding anniversary in November and expecting baby #2 in Feb. 

I don't think I would have had the confidence to ask him out for anything more serious, but figured I was worth at least a quick toss. He was waaaaay out of my "league". Good thing he fealt the same way.

nonmember avatar Vince

Lousy advice.Very few guys out there wanna date/let alone marry a woman who spent her 20's on her back with her legs in the air.On the flipside i don't know why any girl would wanna waste her time with some guy who spent his single years sticking it in everything that moved.Oh well.

Taisie Taisie

My man was supposed to be a "one night stand", we were friends, but the sex was only supposed to be once, still together almost 6 years later!

nonmember avatar Jen

I kind of agree with this, only I would institute a two- or 3-date rule before putting out. Just a formality, really, so you can keep your self-respect while being open-minded.

lilinae lilinae

I have been married for over 11 yrs to the man i had my first and last ever one night stand. 3 kids later still going strong, i fell in love with him the second i saw him!

work4... work4mickey

I don't agree with the one night stand thing, but I do agree it helps not to take the relationship too seriously. I had planned to date my now husband for a few months, have fun, and figured the relationship would just run its course. But we turned out to be really compatable wanted most of the same things, family ect.

nonmember avatar TC

i was still a first year law student,i got super drunk on a holiday night,went home with this man i hooked up with in a club coz i lost my phone and key,guess what,that night is how my relationship with this guy(who is 8 years older!) all began...though we wasn't able to make it very long coz this 8 years of difference is kinda making things harder and harder,but i know that we both took the whole thing rather seriously and enjoyed each others company ;)

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