12 Mistakes Women Make When It Comes to Sex

Love & Learn 11

sex signSex can be one of the most amazing things in the world or the most dreaded, all depending on your mindset. Of course there are things we worry about when we are having sex -- like how your vagina smells, if your body is jiggling too much, or the fear of queefing. (It's not that bad!) But there are also mistakes we are making that can ruin the experience. I don't want to say you are doing it wrong, but ladies, we sometimes are doing it all wrong! The first step in righting those wrongs is to recognize them ... and make some changes. 

So let's review these 12 mistakes women make when it comes to sex and stop making them so we can have better sex lives.

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1. Faking orgasms. Perhaps we just want our partners to feel more studly, but faking it only means one thing: You are denying yourself your own pleasure. Don't do it ... anymore.

2. Putting on an act complete with porn star quality moans. Loud sex sometimes means you're faking it, so don't bother. Just like #1, you are only denying yourself and you're not getting any Academy Awards (or AVNs) for your performance.

3. Not asking for what makes us feel good. The first step in experiencing sexual pleasure is to know what pleasures you. Ask for it. A good lover should want to make you come -- and be willing to take the time to get you there.

4. Being afraid to acknowledge our fantasies. You are not a nasty whore or dirty slut for wanting that X-Rated fantasy to come true. Talk about them, think about them, act on them.

5. Not touching ourselves enough. Guys masturbate a lot. Most girls ... not so much. Touch yourself when you're feeling in the mood. And don't be afraid to touch yourself when you are having sex. If you need to show your lover how it's done, take matters into your own hands.

6. Having too many hang-ups. The lights have to be off. You have to have just showered. You're afraid the cheeseburger you just ate makes your belly look fat. You're worried about that pimple on your back. You didn't shave. Blah blah blah! Stop worrying about all that stuff and enjoy yourself. Be in the moment.

7. Only worrying about what feels good for him. Of course we should think about how our lover is feeling and if he is enjoying it, but don't overdo it. Worrying too much about him will make you not have your own pleasure and if you're not enjoying it, he probably won't either.

8. Forgetting about his balls. Yes, his penis is fun to play with but so are his balls. Play around with them, too. See what he likes. He should return the favor when it's time for him to really take care of you. You're more than just your vaginal opening, right? He's more than just his appendage.

9. Laying there. Why bother?

10. Doing it when we really don't want to do it. Not into it? Just say no. Save it for another time. But if you decide to do the nasty when you're really not in the mood, don't do #9.

11. Taking everything way too seriously. Laugh a little. Sex is fun -- it's even funny sometimes. Don't let falling off the bed or an accidental fart ruin the mood. Laugh, then get back to it.

12. Thinking it's over when he's done. Sometimes his finish is just the beginning of our orgasmic journey.

Have you been guilty of some of these "mistakes"? Have any other to add?


 Image via Jean KOULEV/Flickr

orgasm, sex


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Happy... Happydad73

Hmm, number 10? So men shouldn't go shopping with our women when we don't feel like it? Shouldn't watch a chick flick with you or listen as you fuss and whine about how this is mess up and that is wrong, yet not give advice on how to correct it because all you want is validated. Yep, sounds like a good idea. (and yes I do these for my wife)

jkp-buff jkp-buff

Happydad - all the things you list are great things for men to do for their partners. And there are many that women should do for their partners that are equivalent to your list: giving him space when he's upset and waiting until he wants to talk about it, going to a game with him if he wants even if she's not a sports fan (or other hobby or interest), watching movies he wants to watch that she doesn't.

But sex is not equivalent to anything on your list. Neither the man nor the woman should do it if they're not in the mood. Sex should always be mutual.

wamom223 wamom223

Happydad-Do you really want to have sex with someone going through the motions.  Who cares if you've seen a chick flick or two?  I'm sure she has put in her time with stuff you like too, an your comparison comes off as kind of childish.jkp-buff said it best so I will repeat it again:Sex is not equivalent to anything on your list.  Neither the man nor the woman should do it if they're not in the mood.  Sex should always be mutual.

Amen to that!!  And FYI, coming from a couple with fertility issues that both parties have had to endure sex when we didn't really feel like it, let me tell you its so much better when you both want to be there. 

Erika NW Goodall

Hilarious! YES, HappyDad; a woman letting you have at her body when she really does not want to have sex is absolutely the equivelent to seeing a chick flick or going shopping with her.

nonmember avatar MelB

Amen! Except for 10, I agree with it all. With 10, you really have to pick and choose. There are plenty of women and some men that are rarely in the mood and if you keep leaving your SO without sex, they're gonna look for it somewhere else.

nonmember avatar John

To me #3 and #9 are the ones I have encountered the most. #3- Men are not mind readers and every woman is different. I haven't been intimate with a lot of women, but I've been with enough to know that what works for one doesn't for another. If you don't know what makes you feel good how do you expect me to know? #9 - Sex is supposed to be two people participating, not just one. I like missionary and doggie, but not every time.

Cynthia Parten

I agree with all of them except #10. Honestly, if my husband and I only had sex when I felt like (or when he feels like it for that matter), we would probably only have sex a couple of times per month. But even if I'm not in the mood, I can generally get into it once we get started. But sex is an important part of our marriage to stay connected. 

ktbona ktbona

Yup... I agree. Sometimes we need to do it even when we're not in the mood!

nonmember avatar blh

Ew. Does anyone actually enjoy having sex with someone that doesn't want to??

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