10 Reasons Not to Take Back a Cheating Husband

husband lipstick on shirt wife finds, reasons not to take back a cheating husbandBeing cheated on is probably the most devastating thing that can happen to a relationship short of the other person dying. Actually, it can FEEL like your partner has died when you find how he (or she) has been cheating. It feels like what you had together died.

A woman wrote an essay in the Daily Mail about taking back her husband after he had a long-term affair. Initially, she thought this was a great idea. So great that she even wrote about how the affair brought them closer together than ever. But, predictably, that was a premature conclusion. Now she's writing about how she should never have taken him back and it was the biggest mistake she's ever made. Each person should decide for themselves whether to give a relationship another chance after cheating. And should not be judged for it. But here are 10 reasons not to take back a cheater.

1. The relationship will never be the same. While it's true that some people say a relationship actually improves after cheating, we should face that usually it does not. That sense of freedom, of trust, of respect is gone for awhile and may never come back.

2. You don't have to worry about it happening again. Cheaters don't always cheat again, but there's a decent chance he might. Why? Whatever made him cheat is probably still in his psyche unless he is seriously working on all of his issues. Because he had a choice to cheat. You didn't make him do it (no matter what he says). Some studies even say there's a cheating gene. I don't believe once a cheat, always a cheat, but I definitely believe once a cheat, good chance of being a cheat.

3. You teach your children that cheating is not acceptable. If your children see you leave a cheater, they learn that this is something that destroys relationships and is unacceptable. Which doesn't guarantee they won't ever do it or put up with it, but they will realize it has severe consequences.

4. You'll save on therapy bills. Because, believe me, you are going to need them now that you've decided to stay with someone who strayed.

5. You'll feel safer. Not knowing if your man is going to cheat means never quite knowing when you might pick up a venereal disease.

6. You get to keep your self-respect. If you want to stay with a cheater, you should get to do that and not be judged. But, let's face it, your self-respect is going to take a huge hit for awhile. Especially if the affair is ongoing, or the cheating is chronic, how do you respect yourself staying with a man who can't or won't value you?

7. Things can only get better. When you stay in a relationship with a cheater who makes little or no effort to change, things can only get worse. When you leave, things can only get better.

8. You're not taking the "easy" way out. It's as difficult, if not more difficult, to leave a relationship, even a bad one, than it is to stay in one. You're not the one giving up on the relationship, he gave up when he cheated.

9. You need a partner, not a child. It's not up to you to "save" him, "teach him" right from wrong, or "help" him get over his cheating habit. He's an adult and should have done that for himself.

10. You deserve better. Believe it or not, there are men and women who do not cheat and will not cheat, and you deserve one of them.

11. You don't need any reason at all.

Have you ever left a cheater?

Image © iStock.com/KatarzynaBialasiewicz

breakups, cheating, exes


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nonmember avatar Truth

Let me rewrite this one for you.

1 Reason Not to Take Back a Cheating Spouse

1. They cheated.

You're welcome

cryst... crystal3267

Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Do not take them back!!

Kelly Hackathorn

My baby's father was a cheat. He was a lot of other things, but a cheat was what clinched the deal. If I were to try to stick it out with anyone, it would have been my child's father, but cheating is unforgivable. Not only putting someone's emotional health at risk, you are putting their physical health at risk as well and that is just plain wrong.

kelse... kelseyrae622

I always say that I'm willing to work on anything in the relationship but once he cheats, in any form (kiss, strippers or sex) then he's gone. Done. Finito. I'm not one to put up with that crap.


Shlamoof Shlamoof

I finally got away from my ex who was always off cheating, but not before contracting a very high risk HPV.  I am waiting on biopsy results as we speak and it doesn't look promising.  I could very well have cancer because my husband cheated.  It is so important never to stay with a man who cheats if you have a choice and to never be the other woman because that puts you in danger too.

Dawn Marie Branham

my husband was a chronic cheat for 19 years. I forgave him over and over to keep our family together thinking he would change and that some how it was my fault, After 19 years I couldn't do it anymore.I finally ended my marriage and I truely believe it was the right thing to do. It was hard and still is but feel I should have done it years earlier.

Jerry Boehme

I'm a faithful husband and father. I have male friends who have cheated on their wives. Ladies, don't ever take back a cheater. He will not change. No matter what he says or does, it will always be there. No matter what. Move on and the sooner the better.

nonmember avatar Lorelai

Good for you, Dawn! My ex cheated, though I'm not sure how many times. He left our family for someone who wasn't a good person, wasn't attractive and thought he had lots of cash. BIG SHOCK FOR HER! Anyway, I forgave him, we tried to work it out...but he wouldn't stay faithful. We divorced after 19 years of marriage and 3 years of dating. It was painful, but the best thing I could have done for my son and I. We are happier than ever and life does go on after divorce! :D

nonmember avatar Gaby

Worst mistake I ever made in my life! Soooo happy after I kicked him out of my house. I love my new life!

nonmember avatar Allysha Myers

I loved this! I left my sons dad (husband at the time) who was a chronic cheater. I stayed for awhile but i foun out hewas cheating during our whole relationship so i left and never looked back! best decision of my life by far! NEVER say with a cheater!awhile

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