5 Ways to Cover When Your Kid Catches You Having Sex

LOL 10

5 ways to cover when your kid catches you having sexIt's happened to the best of us. We try to be quiet, we hide under the covers, maybe we even lock the door. But somehow our kids catch us having sex anyway

Hello, trauma!

Well, not to fear. You don't need to worry about scarring your children for life. Just have these 5 explanations for what you were doing instead of having sex ready and they should help get you out of a sticky situation if and when you need it.

1. We're wrestling. Depending on the position you're in, this seems like a logical one. You might want to prep your kids in advance by reminding them every now and then when they're wrestling that parents like to wrestle too. Hey, you never know when you're going to need to pull that excuse out of your back pocket.

2. Mommy's getting a horsey ride. Considering how much kids love getting horsey rides, it should come as no surprise to them that Mommy would like them too. You may have a tough time explaining the naked part, but sex can be just as good with your shirt on, so you might want to refrain from going topless if you're worried about an accidental discovery.

3. We're playing hide 'n' seek. This is a helpful explanation if you're enjoying a little oral pleasure. Just make sure that one or both of you are under the covers. Otherwise, you'll have a tough time explaining *that* one, especially when you've been telling them all this time not to be putting anything in their mouths.

4. We're practicing our hugs. Considering the fact that we encourage kids to practice everything else (because it makes perfect, right?), what's so wrong about rehearsing how to hug? We want them to be the best they can be. And by showing them that even parents need to practice things, we're setting a good example. Ha!

5. Just fitting in a little exercise. This is actually not too far from the truth. Sure, you only burn like 300 calories an hour having sex -- and let's be honest, what parent is having sex for that long? -- but you are getting a workout, so I think it's a pretty honest explanation.

Have you ever been caught having sex by your kids? What did you tell them?

 

Image via mattmaria/Flickr

sexuality, sex drive, sex, marriage, orgasm

10 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Ted

My son was around 5 when he walked in on me going down on mommy.
He asked me later "why was I kissing mommie's bottom?"
I told him that there are somethings that just need to be done,
and he hasn't mentioned since, now a teenager.

Melanie Lozeau

those dont work with teenagers .. find new ones .. teenagers are smarter then that... 

Alisha Haskett

Uhhh....teenagers are fully aware of what you are doing if they walk in on you like that. You don't need to make up some cutesy story. 

gabe05 gabe05

Or never do anything unless the door is locked.  The idea of my kids walking in (shudder)!!!!

Lizz Vicuna

This was fun and entertaining to read. But I highly DOUBT kids are that stupid.

MrsRo... MrsRoberts413

1.) That's what a door lock is for.  If you're in the mood for something more frisky, wait til they're at a sitter's or grandma's or somewhere! 


2.) Funny story: I'm a teacher. A couple years ago, I had kindergarten. One little girl who was not very proficient in English and had some speech issues had not uttered a complete, intelligible sentence all year. One Monday morning, first thing of the week, she must've walked in on her parents and received a talk that weekend, she walks in and marches up to me and says "Miss M, my dad likes to have sex with my mom! That's GROSS!" (with disgusted hand gesture and face) and this was the first complete, understood sentence she had uttered all year. *facepalm* and that was how my week started.

nonmember avatar iPhone spy app

Teenagers knows exactly what you're doing with his mom so you can not play hide and seek lol !!!

Todd Vrancic

Why not simply say that this is how mommies and daddies show each other they love each other and that it's for adults only?  I agree that teenagers probably know exactly what's going on, and if they walk in on you, you should tell them that they should knock before entering the room.

nonmember avatar Alice

Looks like some of the posters did not actually read and comprehend Ted's post.

nonmember avatar pregwith2

My daughter caught my husband and I in the middle of the night and we were loud (this was last year). Thankfully it was dark so she couldn't make out what was happening and just asked "What's going on in here?". I responded with "Mommy had a bad dream about a scary monster and she was screaming because of the scary monster". Ever since then we locked the doors.

1-10 of 10 comments