Women Are Just as Likely to Cheat as Men Despite What Guys Might Say

Love & Learn 6

Have you ever had a guy cheat on you and then someone (maybe even the guy himself) says, "Whaddya expect? Guys are wired to cheat." And then maybe they give you some mumbo jumbo about the cavemen and how they had to spread their seed and guys are just really still cavemen and blah blah blah. Well, scientists seem to have finally figured out that men are not wired to cheat after all -- at least not any more than women are. In fact, it seems that waaaay back in the day, when we were all living in caves and roasting freshly-killed bison for dinner, men and women were equally non-monogamous. But then men and women evolved into a monogamous species -- at the same time. And the reasons are pretty interesting!

Scientists studied the mating habits of monkeys and came up with "conclusive proof" that humans all used to be non-monogamous. If you think about it, that makes sense. Non-modern man lived in caves with groups of people, they hunted and foraged together, they had sex together, they gave birth together, it was all like one big hippie commune.

Except for one thing. The men were killing off the children. Women were busy tending to their babies so they didn't really want to have sex anymore (much like today! ha!) and the men didn't want to wait around to have sex while the kid grew up -- so they just offed the kid!

This was putting a damper on the whole procreation thing, so humans evolved into monogamous creatures, where the man would only have sex with one woman and would help take care of and protect their children rather than kill them. Make sense?

So what has this all got to do with cheating? It sounds to me like we all started out non-monogamous (other books make this claim too) and then gradually we all became monogamous -- because we had to for the good of mankind.

And since both men and women evolved this way for specific reasons, one isn't any more likely to be "hard-wired" to cheat. In fact, some recent studies say that women are even more likely to cheat than men!

After millions of years of this, monogamy is in our DNA. But don't fool yourself. That inner sex-hungry Neanderthal still lurks within -- and sometimes busts out for a little playtime!

Do you think men and women are naturally more monogamous or non-monogamous?


Image via Keoni Cabral/Flickr

cheating, sexuality


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nonmember avatar Jen

I think more intelligent individuals execute better impulse control and are more likely to gravitate towards monogamy for its obvious benefits to the family, the individual and the greater society than less intelligent individuals. Studies corroborate this. I think the fallacy is in assuming that all humans are wired the same; we're not.

nonmember avatar Summer

Women cheat just as much as men but for different reasons. Usually when women cheat, they are looking to feel wanted and love their partner's attention. Men are more simple. They just want sex with another partner. There wouldn't be any ugly prostitutes otherwise. Also, women are less likely to get caught.

nonmember avatar Brian

@Summer - Sorry, that's a very simplistic response about men and not true at all. There are a variety of reasons why men cheat, she cuts off sex, she gained 100 pounds and he doesn't find her attractive, she never initiates. Also, men do in fact cheat for the same reason as women, they are not getting any attention. Of course, all of these are wrong. Best to end the relationship rather than cheating. That goes for men and women.

Ashley Kidd

really???? what do monkeys have to do with us cheating? we did not come from monkeys so how in the world does this prove that we are cheaters??? stupid article....get new material


nonmember avatar Bobby

Summer's comment is total bs. Saying that women cheat to feel wanted and love their partner's attention puts the blame on the man and not on the woman who is cheating. In other words, the man is to blame no matter what. Garbage!!

nonmember avatar wally wood

Both men and women evolved to have BOTH bird (shared parenting) relationships AND Bee (fertilize & fly away) relations, according to opportunity.

Opportunity for males depends on power=attractiveness, so older & successful men have more temptations to resist.

Opportunity for females depends on fertility=attractiveness, so younger (20-40) women have more temptations to resist.

Males evolved to be more tempted by different=additional and females evolved more to be tempted by different=better.

The modern change in opportunity and temptation is so many young married women now work among powerful=attractive men away from their children and home, and husband's supervision.

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