I Don't Want to Date a Man Who's Better-Looking Than Me

OMG 19

Holding handsThe other night I was walking down the street with one of my girlfriends when a super attractive man walked by us. Tall, dark brown hair, green eyes, charcoal gray business suit. As he briskly walked in and out of our lives, it prompted a discussion about the things we look for in a man. Sure, being attractive is definitely high up on the list, following behind a great sense of humor and allowing his lady to tune into Keeping Up With the Kardashians without vocalizing his desire to commit suicide.

And then she said something that really stuck with me: "I don't know about you, but I don't want to date a man that's more attractive than me."

Being discriminatory against a man for being too good looking? On one hand I'd be stupidly excited to date Tyson Beckford or Channing Tatum knowing I had a perfect 10 on my arm. But then I'd wonder, without fail, if people thought that I wasn't beautiful enough to be next to him.

And then I said: "You know what? I sorta feel the same way."

Listen, I'm not saying that I wouldn't accept a date invitation from Tyson or Channing. After seeing Tyson in person a few weeks back, I surely wouldn't mind grabbing a bite with him and staring into those eyes for a solid hour over Korean barbecue.

But with that said, I think every woman likes to stand out a little bit. When I'm walking down the street with my significant other, I sort of want the eyes to be on me. Call me selfish or self-centered, that's fine. I just think it makes sense for the man I'm dating to be on an even-level playing field with me.

I know. Yes, I'm well aware that there are things that make a man attractive other than his outer appearance. As someone who doesn't have a physical type, those little personality traits make all the difference to me. I suppose that if I fall for some crazy handsome guy who may just be better-looking than me, I'll deal with my fear of not measuring up then. But for now, I'll stand firm on my stance: I'd rather be more attractive than the man I'm dating.

Where do you stand? Would you want to date someone who you think is better-looking than you?


Image via Summer Skyes 11/Flickr



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Nelli... NellieAthome

The writers say "Call me selfish or self-centered"

OK I will and I'll  add shallow and snobbish

And say I pity you and the men you date or the one you marry

Marcela Blunck Bowidowicz

I can see where you are coming from. I might feel a little bad about myself if my husband was WAY more attractive than me, but I think we're about the same level of attractive. There are days when he does look better and gets a good amount of attention, but that doesn't bug me at all. Honestly it's awesome when that happens, as I can see that his confidense is getting a serious boost! 

nonmember avatar American Expat

Well I have no choice but to date women better looking than me, being I'm below the bottom of the barrel in looks...

nonmember avatar Blythe

You raise an interesting point. Do you remember the SATC episode where Miranda goes on a dinner date with a very attractive cop, freaks out over all the other women eyeing at her date and makes a fool of herself drinking too much? *I* would rather be the more attractive one. Call it shallow or selfish if you want but there's some basis to this. A UCLA study covered this exact issue and found men married to more attractive women worked harder to please and these couples were happier: http://today.ucla.edu/portal/ut/PRN-do-looks-really-matter-yes-and-209451.aspx

nonmember avatar Zak

So whats with you girls who get all insecure because the guy your with is in better shape and overall looks better then you?? Like she may have some weight but he likes her regardless so in her own issues she feels the need to be jealous,lash out,call names and make the guy who WANTS to be with her feel bad.WTF? Been-there-done-that-never again.

Coles... Coles_mom

My husband and I started out at the same level of attractiveness, but now we're entering our 40s and he gets better looking by the day. He's always even tall and slender, but now he has distinguished gray temples and because he's now fairly wealthy, he can afford the best suits and clothing. I, on the other hand, have had three kids in six years and need to lose about 100s. I'm a sahm, so I can't afford anything decent to wear except old jeans and tshirts. I also have a good deal of gray hair, but I makes me look old and haggard and again- no money to keep it up by going to the salon. I know I embarrass him and our marriage has suffered deeply.

Nelli... NellieAthome

Coles_mom - I am forced to ask what kind of marriage you have where there is money for expensive suits for your husband but no money to get your hair dyed or buy clothes for you.

There appears to be something deeper wrong with your marriage than a weight gain and some grey hair

nonmember avatar SteveS

"Call me selfish or self-centered .."

I think I'll go with "narcissistic" instead.

Jeremy Abrams

My wife by and large doesn't wear makeup, and I like to say that makeup is what other women wear to try to look like her. Because my wife is so earnest devoted to serious matters, our children first and foremost, but also long-lasting friendships and community organizations (our kids' schools, mostly), and her work, I find myself focused similarly on such things, and it rarely occurs to me which one of us is more attractive, though it's likely her.

Cole's Mom, you deserve help. We raise two kids with me working at home, and you are doing three on your own. Your husband should understand that when he comes home, that's when the harder work begins, and you need to be sent off to day spas, support groups, the gym, etc.



nonmember avatar Howard Roark

Remember when kids were taught by their parents that is was wrong to judge a book by its cover? Now we live in a world where that and a person's stance on abortion are the only way we judge them.

Superficial sux

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