Your Wedding Day Won't Be the Best Day of Your Life

Love & Learn 2

bridal bouquet pogo photoIf I had to name the "Best Day of My Life" up to this point, maybe I'd go with December 1, 2006: The day I first met my future husband. (Though technically, that was the Best Evening, but let's not split hairs, I guess.) No other date really stands out ... Nope, not even our recent wedding day. Then again, I never really believed wholeheartedly that it would qualify.

Of course I tried to get it in the running! While planning, I made every effort to make sure the day would be memorable, beautiful, all in all amazing for everyone involved. Hiring a coordinator was probably the best decision I made to ensure the day would go as smoothly as possible. Key words: As possible.  

My instincts that something was bound to go awry -- or that the feeling of the day overall wasn't going to live up to some fairy tale expectation -- turned out to be true. There was just too much stress, too many high-strung tendencies, too much anticipation, worry, restlessness for it to be the Best Day Ever. There were temper tantrums and miscommunications, delays, and bad attitude flaring up here and there. Yes, I found myself disappointed at certain points throughout the day. But come on. What bride out there can honestly tell me she didn't feel the same at some point about something during her "Big Day"?

I feel like it has to do with super-inflated expectations -- like when you go into a New Year's Eve or first date wanting so badly for it to be the Best Ever. Ultimately, no wedding day turns out as perfectly as The Knot, Martha Stewart, and Say Yes to the Dress would have us believe. But you have to throw your hands up over the crappy parts and focus on the happiest ones.

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The day itself, from beginning to end, may not have been the Biggest, Best of my husband's and my lives, but it's the smallest, blink-of-an-eye moments in that day that matter more than anything in the long-run. Our "first look," my first look at the ballroom and being blown away with how beautifully all the months of hard work had come together, how our guests whooped when the opening chords of Ray Charles' "Moon Over Miami" signaled our first dance, feeling beautiful, thinking our entire bridal party looked stunning, sharing laughs with our photographers as we rushed into an elevator after the ceremony, dancing with the last guests standing to our last song of the night (Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" obviously) ...

I've gotta say: Those were probably some of the best moments of my life. Actually, our honeymoon was filled with some of the best days -- days that trumped the actual wedding day by far, if only in part because we were so relaxed! Still, I'm not willing to give any one day the Best Day Ever title yet. I'm holding out, positive that's still to come -- the day we have our first (and second?) child, a wedding anniversary spent away, a memorable holiday with family, etc. Because to pigeonhole your wedding day as the pinnacle of your life is actually aiming way too low! It's not the peak; it's the beginning.

What do you think about the idea that your wedding day should be the Best Day of your life?


Image via Emily Pogozelski/

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Stell... StellarsMommy

I'm actually planning our wedding that is coming up on September 7th so this post totally caught my eye. However I am glad that I realized early on that nothing is going to go exactly as planned when the day arrives. Hopefully I can 'wing it' as easily as I'm hoping to, though I can't imagine it ACTUALLY being better than the day our daughter was born. Here's to hoping for the best! :)

butte... butterflyfreak

My wedding day was WONDERFUL! But then, I didn't have any over-inflated expectations for the day. I didn't make the day about ME, because a wedding shouldn't be about any one person, or even about the couple. It should be about FAMILY and the merging of the two families. I put a lot of the planning and organizing into the hands of my stepmother. I told her what I wanted for my colors, that I wanted it to be kid-friendly since my one year old daughter and several younger cousins and friends' children would be attending. We had the reception as a BBQ potluck (my parents provided hot dogs and hamburgers and all the accoutrements while the guests brought side dishes and drinks) which helped save money AND elimated the pressure of making a decision about catering. It was definitely ONE of the best days in my life, but I would never say it is THE best, mostly because I plan on living for a long time and hope that there will be many days that could qualify as one of the best.

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