It's been almost three years since I started writing for The Stir on a regular basis, but I'm pretty sure this is my very first article about a vibrator.
Specifically, I'd like to talk about the Magic Wand Original, previously known as the Hitachi Magic Wand. I heartily endorse this Star-Wars-looking orgasm machine, and I have a couple Handy Tips™ for how to enjoy its much-revered properties without waking the neighbors or buzzing your private parts right the heck off your body.
If you haven't experienced the Magic Wand, you're probably thinking something along the lines of Um, hello, I already know how to use a vibrator. Well, the Wand is a little different -- in that it's got a startling amount of supercharged horsepower in its tennis-ball-sized head.
A little backstory on the Wand: it was launched in the U.S. market during the 70's, with the stated purpose of "soothing and relaxing sore muscles and nerves, relieving tension, and rehabilitation after sports injuries." It's not exactly the sexiest-looking thing in the world, with its bulky rubberized head, clinical taserlike white body, and three switch settings: off, INSANE, and slightly less insane -- but Hitachi must've figured there was no reason to mess with success. While it's true that the Wand can be used on your various PG-rated body parts, it's generally considered a highly effective tool for achieving the big O … and I'm not talking about Oprah's magazine.
In my experience, there are three basic steps to success with the Magic Wand:
1) Secure your privacy. The main benefit of the Wand is also its biggest drawback: it's loud. The good news is that it's electric, so you never need worry about the inconvenience of a battery crapping out during a critical moment, and it's surprisingly powerful. It is, in a word, efficient, if you know what I mean and I think you do. (Zero to orgasm in 30 seconds or less? Yes indeed.) However, the Wand does make a buzzing noise that's not exactly discrete, so before you put it to good use you might want to shut the door and maybe turn on some background music or something.
Also, keep it in a drawer your kids aren't likely to poke around in, lest this happen to you:
2) Control the vibrations. Most battery-powered toys are designed to be used directly against your naked lady parts, but as we've discussed, the Magic Wand isn't a battery-powered toy. Its two vibration rates are 5,000 and 6,000 rpm, both of which are SERIOUS BUSINESS. I recommend starting with the "slightly less fast but still verging on overwhelming" setting for maximum sexytime results. Ease into it with a barrier of sorts -- IE, leave the undies on for your first ride, or lie on top of it while it's pressed against the bed or a pillow to absorb some of the vibrations. Alternately, you can purchase aftermarket accessories that provide finer control over the speed.
3) Don't try to stick it where the sun don't shine. I mean, to each their own, but … yeah. For most people this is an external use only toy, unless you buy a special attachment or something. I suppose you could technically wedge it in somewhere with a lot of effort, I'm just thinking it's not a recommended best practice.
It's my humble opinion that the Magic Wand's reputation as "the Cadillac of Vibrators" is extremely well-deserved, and if you've ever had trouble achieving orgasms or you just want BETTER orgasms, either solo or with a partner, you should definitely check it out. Added bonus: if your shoulders get sore from holding it, hey presto, you've also got one hell of a personal massager.
Have you ever used the Magic Wand before? Would you recommend it?
Image via BLW Photography/Flickr