10 Worst Breakup Excuses of All Time

Breaking up is hard to do. So maybe that's why people give so many bad excuses for it. Of course, at some point, we've all probably heard or resorted to "It's not you, it's me." And while that sounds like a cop-out, chances are it is that person. That person just isn't sure he or she wants to be with you. Well, if you're getting dumped, he or she is very sure. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you per se. No one likes to hear that though, because people want some kind of concrete reason like, "I hate your underwear." But that's usually not the way it goes. The hashtag #WorstBreakUpExcuses has been trending on Twitter all day. Here are 10 of the worst ones. I hope they're not serious but I wouldn't be surprised if they were!

More from The Stir: A Single Girl’s Open Letter to All Future Mr. Wrongs

1. I'm sorry babe, but you don't Twerk like you used to.

(Ouch. I wonder if this is what Liam Hemsworth told Miley Cyrus.)

2. I can't date you because I'm a superhero and my villains will use you against me.

3. You don't look half as good as you did on Christian Mingle. God bless.

4. You're too good to me/too nice/too smart/you deserve better.

(Yes, you do.)

5. The gradual shifting of tectonic plates made you live too far away.

6. We need to break up because my dog keeps barking at you. I think he's trying to tell me something.

7. I just can't be with someone who liked Sharknado.

8. I love you but I'm not "in love" with you.

9. I've got to focus on finding out the truth about Benghazi.

10. We can't see each other anymore, I'm getting married.

What's the worst breakup line you've ever heard?

 

Image via Unlisted Sightings/Flickr

dating, breakups

20 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

LeeshaE LeeshaE

I had an ex dump me because he drove drunk through a cow pasture totalling his truck while he was coming to see me and it was all my fault, (never happened but was his excuse, I lived with my folks and was sick in bed at the time) LOL. On a side note he later did total his truck, I blame Karma.

nonmember avatar cl

my ex broke up with me because i wanted to have a career. he said that it would take away precious time from giving him attention. whiny bitch claims to be a feminist.

AionG... AionGladiator

My ex dumped me because he was afraid he would "catch my seizures." (I have epilepsy.) Honestly, looking back I think I dodged a bullet!

nonmember avatar John

that i was working too much after i willingly cut my hours to have more time with her.

nonmember avatar Stacey

"My brother's garage door hit his head so you and I should break up."

Kelly Kiser Ekleberry

"I love you, but we can't be together" was my all time favorite. Still feels horrible remembering him say it, ah well.

My Svensk

One dumped me because he couldn't handle that I potentially had a brain tumor. Thanks for your sympathy.

nonmember avatar Ronnie

He broke up with me because I "wanted too much sex," and was draining him. I think he ultimately wished he'd had that one back

oommaa oommaa

I once broke up with a guy because I was allergic to him. I would break out in a rash whenever we had any physical contact. A shame cause he was really a great guy

Amber Caldarelli

oommaa, Did you consider you were allergic to a soap or lotion or cologne he was wearing and ask him to switch?

1-10 of 20 comments 12 Last