Whether you're in a long-distance relationship, happen to have the polar opposite schedule from your partner, or are struggling to find time to connect for whatever reason, there's a snazzy gadget or invention out there sure to save your sex life. No, I'm not talking about old school sex toys or even FaceTime -- don't be silly!
Here, the "Sexy Tales" "Choose Your Own Adventure" phone sex and other hilarious but potentially helpful technologies that may work like a charm for couples who are foreplay-challenged ...
- "Choose Your Own Adventure" phone sex - Phone sex just got couples-friendly! But it could still make you cringe or laugh your ass off. A company called Dejamor now offers a service called "Sexy Tales," which lets you call a specific number, enter the number of your partner, and walk them through all your dirty fantasies. You can choose from pre-scripted "tales," like, "Wow, is it just me that’s hot? I’m unbuttoning my blouse and guess what I have underneath? That’s right baby, a black lace, see-through bra. I can feel your eyes on me and it’s making my nipples so hard they’re poking right out." Or you can "build-your-own" script, so you actually stand a chance at getting your lover all hot and bothered instead of just giving them a giggle fit.
- Fundawear - It may sound like the punchline to the one joke my 4-year-old niece knows, but it's an actual product Durex has released. It's a long-distance, app-controlled underwear stimulator, and it actually looks like a couple's best shot at enjoying one another's "touch" remotely. Whatever will they dream up next?!
- SexyVibes - Forget the Fundawear -- you can just turn your smartphone into a vibrator with this app! The settings have hilarious names like "Fluffy Bunny" or "Washing Machine."
- "Wheel of Foreplay" - Yes, that's really the name of this kinky 99-cent app, in which you spin the wheel to unlock activities to be played out with your S.O. Takes the thinking out of the equation, so there's more doooing.
- Sex Positions Games - Another app with an even more lame-o name is actually lauded for getting couples talking to turn up the heat. Set up like a game of Truth or Dare; you can choose to exclusively answer "truth" questions, then switch to "dare" mode.
Would you ever use an app or a gadget as foreplay with your partner?