6 Lies About Marriage That Give Brides False Hope on Their Wedding Day

Love & Learn 58

ringsUgh. Why do people feel the need to tell brides all this sweet, mushy, heart-warming stuff on their wedding day about how being married is all kinds of wonderful? You know, the endless gushing over how much happier you'll be now that you have a partner to share all of life's beautiful moments with?

Yeah -- that's what people say because they don't want to burst your bubble and give you the real story. Sure, marriage takes work, and most of us are smart enough to realize that it's not going to be all sunshine and roses 365 days a year. But most wedding well wishers don't even dare touch the, "you'll have some good moments and not-so-good moments" bit.

Instead, they load up on free food and booze and party like rock stars at your reception while filling your head with images of how wonderful your life is going to be from that point forward.

And then they go home at the end of the night muttering, "Just you wait, honey..." under their breath (in between hiccups, of course.)

At some point down the road, the honeymoon period wears off, and then the reality that is marriage sets in and you wonder why in the hell no one told you the truth about how things were going to go.

That being said, I present 6 lies about marriage people can't resist telling brides over and over again.

  1. "You lived together for a while, so you're already "married" -- Um, why does anyone fall for this one? Living together as an engaged couple and living together as a married couple are two entirely different things. It's a whole lot easier to put up with things like the toilet seat being left up and clothes piled in a heap on the floor when you know in the back of your head you can move out at a moment's notice. (It's kind of a downer when you realize you're trapped.)
  2. "You won't have to worry about money anymore!" -- Ah, yes -- the combined finances speech. If you've never had a joint bank account before, get ready for trouble to set in. It's so much harder to keep track of who is spending what and where when you're taking out funds from the same cash pool. The whole "our money" thing is basically a recipe for fighting.
  3. "Don't worry, after a few years with you, he'll come around." -- OMG. Whoever tells you that your spouse will change his/her political or religious beliefs to fit in line with yours simply because he put a ring on your finger is a BIG FAT LIAR.
  4. "You'll never be lonely again." -- Who says you have to be alone to be lonely? It's only natural that when you get married, you see your other friends and family less -- which can feel really, really lonely at times.
  5. "You'll have so much more fun than you did in your single days. You won't miss those times one bit." -- Yeah, right. Find me one married woman who doesn't fantasize about reliving crazy nights in college, that girls' weekend in Vegas, or even a day spent lying on the couch watching movies alone simply because she could -- and I'll probably faint in disbelief.
  6. "Trust me, you'll love everything about your spouse -- because that's what marriage is all about!" -- Gag me with a spoon. Loving every single aspect of a person, even their disgusting habits and annoying quirks? That's just not realistic. For example, do you know one woman who finds her husband farting in bed, smoking, belching, scratching his balls, etc. endearing? (Probably not. And you'll be her at some point down the road, I promise.)

Have you heard any of these lies?


Image via ComeilMare/Flickr

marriage, weddings


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nonmember avatar NoWay

I was single for several years and I am much happier as a married woman. I don't miss being single.

kelly... kelly24019

You sound bitter and unhappy

Choco... Chocodoxies

"It's kind of a downer when you realize you're trapped." - Someone is in an unhappy marriage...

nonmember avatar nope

Never heard any of these. Mary, where do you get this stuff?

miche... micheledo

Never heard any of those lies.  I didn't enter into marriage with 'rose colored glasses' on, but have to be completely honest.  I was very surprised to soon realize marriage (to the right guy) was so much better then anything I had ever imagined a good marriage to be.  

I tell brides all the time - marriage CAN be that great!!!!  10+ years later and I wouldn't change a thing. 

sylph... sylph_ironlight

(It's kind of a downer when you realize you're trapped.) 

Um. If you feel like you're 'trapped' in your marriage, you have some serious issues that need to be worked out.

MrsRo... MrsRoberts413

I completely disagree with #2!  If you and your spouse aren't capable of communicating about finances to the degree that a joint account would result in major fighting, then my friend, you have much bigger problems!

April... AprilJune

I heard #1, but I don't really think it's a lie....of course, we weren't "already married" but we butted heads a lot when we moved in together, and I was pretty thankful that we were through that stage and not living it right after our wedding. We had already established a good rhythm and worked out most of the kinks of living together, so it was nice to just have smooth sailing after the wedding. And, I was totally committed to my husband before being legally married, so leaving was never really on the table any more or less than it is now that we're married.

As for the rest- I agree they are all unfair representations of the average marriage, but any new bride who actually believes any of it is probably in for a lifetime of trouble- in her marriage and otherwise!

p31lady p31lady

Does Mary just hate everything?  Seriously, she always seems so angry and bitter in almost everything I've read by her.  From now on I'm just scrolling past everything she writes.  

nonmember avatar bren48

No, I've never heard any of them. And I think it's the rare guest who leaves a wedding thinking "just you wait, honey." Married life, just like single life, has it's ups and downs. Anyone who hasn't already learned that is probably way to young to be getting married.

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