10 Classic Signs Your Man Might Be Cheating

OMG 26

When it comes to your partner cheating, I don't believe there are any definitive clues. He could be working late, or he could be cheating late. He could be dressing up for you -- or his mistress. That's what makes this type of thing so confusing and hurtful. When you trust your spouse, you trust his explanations. But there are always certain things that get our antennae up. They don't seem to change much over the years, though with the advent of technology, those little hints now seem to involve a lot more cellphones and social media and a lot less lipstick on the collar (unless you're President Obama). Here are 10 classic signs your guy (or your woman) might be cheating.

1. He starts dressing better. According to divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, this is still a sign you should look out for. Did he suddenly morph from flannel and dirty boots to smart suits and shiny loafers? I'd add in wearing cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new. Could be a sign the mistress gave him a bottle that she likes better.

2. Guarding the cellphone. This is one I've heard a lot in my girlfriend circles -- he suddenly starts sleeping with the cellphone by his bedside, or bringing it into the shower with him. He may turn it off when you're together and say he doesn't want to be disturbed while he's with you -- but he really doesn't want to risk her texting or calling while you're there. If he won't even let you touch his phone, sumpthin' up.

3. Password protecting everything. In this day and age, it's prudent to password protect your phone, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Or he refuses to give you the password.

4. He takes out new credit cards in his name. According to Stowe, this is a sign that he's spending money on the new flame -- especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only.

5. He begins making hurtful remarks about you. Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy -- this way if he ever gets caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting!

6. He begins to drop a female name into his conversations. I've heard this one before, that a guy having an affair will start bringing up a certain woman all of the time. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it. I'd also add avoiding talking about a certain woman -- say he starts working on a project with a woman but he NEVER mentions her. That's weird if he's spending a lot of time with her.

7. Talking about how "ugly" or "horrible" a certain woman is. This is one I've seen a few times -- a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.

8. He suggests separate holidays. According to Stowe, this is a clear sign he wants you out of town.

9. Doesn't want sex. He may not reject you, but he'll go along with your rejections where he may have previously fought them. Now it's like, "Sure, let's watch a movie instead. Noooo problem."

10. Social media. I'm simply amazed at how many men forget that their wife or girlfriend is on their Facebook and yet they will flirt or even "check in" with another woman also on his Facebook. Must think women are blind!

While these are fairly "classic" signs, I've also seen and experienced the complete opposite. I know one husband who was doing basically all of the above -- but after much investigating, his wife couldn't find any evidence of him having an affair. And I've been in a situation where a guy was doing none of the above -- but was.

Such is life. It's always a conundrum.

What signs have you seen that someone is cheating?

 

Image via Newtown Graffitti/Flickr

breakups, cheating, lying

26 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

kckcm2 kckcm2

The two times I was cheated on, he accused me of cheating on him. Both of my ex's did this. This kind of falls under your picking a fight category.

Never... Never.A.Mom

Yup. Irrational jealousy could be added there.


If he thinks you're hiding something when you go somewhere as innocuous as the dentist or a class, you may wonder why he's so suspicious. Maybe 'cause he's hiding something?

AJ-47 AJ-47

The sad thing is..some of the "smarter" cheaters can go through life acting like everything is ok. Nothing different, no signs..and the wife wouldn't suspect a thing.

nonmember avatar Rach

Look people, the most recent research suggests that 60% - 80% of spouses, male and female, cheat. If you think they're cheating, they are.

BGarcel BGarcel

Where is that study Rach?

nonmember avatar Ivory

I agree with most of these comments, especially kckcm2 and Never.A.Mom because they mention some very good indicators of a cheater: Accusations of infidelity and jealousy (sometimes hyper-jealousy!).

My jealous ex (who i found out cheated on me numerous times with HIS ex, a stripper) constantly demanded that i explain myself. It wasn't enough for him when i would say "I'm going out with some friends tonight." I would be guilt-tripped into staying in while he made me feel bad for wanting to out in the first place.

It got to the point where he would ask me SO many questions ("Who's Bill? Did you sleep with him?") and i just said "forget it, i'm not going out anymore" because i knew that he would be fuming the whole time, texting and calling incessantly (heaven forbid i miss a call or don't respond to a text, then i'd really get it!) and when i got home, he would be pissy, moody and otherwise verbally abusive. He made it so bad for me that i didn't even want to go out with friends anymore.

The worst part is that even though i lost so many friends because of him, HE was the one who was mad at me because I apparently "made him feel this way". I wish i had the guts to tell him "i don't make you feel anything! You CHOSE to feel that way and it's not my responsibility to pat your ego every time i want to do something for me!"

Honestly girls and guys...if you see the symptoms of a jealous person, RUN. Run far and run fast!

nonmember avatar Jenna

My ex displayed all of these signs. And he would also accuse me of cheating or trying to check out other men all the time and than he would say "You know, usually the accuser is the guilty one" so than I thought...okay he IS cheating on me and I would get insecure and suspicious and start accusing him right back, even though I never cheated on him. He had these stupid mind games. And than a year later, I finally found out. He was indeed cheating on me. Cheaters are a complete deal breaker to me. If you've ever cheated on anyone in your life, you can't date me. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

nonmember avatar Xak999

This is what I love about sites like "The Stir" and "Cafe Mom" they each enjoy pointing out the fact that women crave being with the 'BAD BOY' then they dole out quazi-wisdom with 'signs' that you've chosen a 'BAD BOY'.

nonmember avatar linda

My husband went to see an old girl friend, I found out he had gone later, it was the way he held my hand, he nave held my hand like this before. she had long finger nails, mine was short, he waas avoiding the sharp nails, so he held her hand with her nails sticking out. A woman can tell when hes not acting right.
One day he came home from work and he had got wound up over a blonde, he wanted to find her a blind date really fast. They ended up going to mexico together on a job, factory parts related. She was single mother.

1-10 of 26 comments 123 Last