Sex Confession: Husband's Flirting Makes Wife Feel Inadequate

flirt sign"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Carol* is a 30-something mom of two. She's been married for what she says seems like forever (12 years). And she's currently very annoyed at her husband. Very, very annoyed. Patrick* makes her feel inadequate. She says he doesn't often give her compliments, but he finds time to bestow his sweetest words on waitresses, check-out girls, even toll booth collectors. He's a flirt and it's starting to make Carol feel bad about herself. So bad she's lost interest in having sex with her husband. That bad. Let's hear what she has to say.

I feel like a jealous wife but Patrick's flirting has gotten out of control. It's upsetting me, and even though I told him it bothers me, he hasn't stopped. One example: He flirts with the waitress when we are out at restaurants. Once he told our server that she had "gorgeous eyes" while I was sitting right there about to order a burger and fries. Gorgeous eyes?!?! That's a little much, don't you think? Later that night Patrick flirted with me and I turned him down. It was the first time I had done that in a really long time, but I was so turned off by him and how he inappropriately spoke to our waitress that there was no way in hell I was going to fake it.

I've let plenty of light flirting go -- ignored it and pretended it didn't bother me. But then I felt it was getting worse. The compliments he gives other women -- I never hear. Seeing him do this in front of me worries me. Does he even realize? He says he doesn't think he doing anything wrong. He cannot see how it hurts me. It's turning me off to him, making me feel like I'm not cute or sexy or perky enough for him. I just want some compliments from him. But he tells me he is just being nice to these women.

I want him to be nice -- nicer -- to me. I'm not sure how to get through to him and make him stop. But it's really starting to affect things and I don't want it to get out of control.

What is your advice for Carol? Has her husband gone too far or is this harmless flirting? Does your husband flirt too much and does it turn you off?

 

Names have been changed.


Image via Pittaya Sroilong/Flickr

marriage, sex confession

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nekoy... nekoyukidoll

Sounds like my ex bf who eventually cheated on me with one of those girls. My advice would be to divorce him since from my past experience, if he doesn't think it's wrong, he's not going to stop and possibly will stray.

nonmember avatar BostonBob

As a man and a husband, that is TOTALLY unacceptable.

Calling him a "jerk" is taking it easy on him.

Irela... Ireland69

he sounds like a jerk!!!  selfish doesn't care how you feel, ignore him get yourself together for and your kids and dump him. he won't change unless he wants to if you had a serious talk to him and he doesn't change move on.  You deserve love and respect!

nonmember avatar Lucy

She needs to be on the next train OUT of that relationship. This guy is an idiot. She can find someone who will actually respect her and her feelings and act like no other woman on the planet matters, let alone flirt with them constantly.

nonmember avatar lisakphillips

Married at 18, what did you think would happen?

nonmember avatar Courtney

..... I would sit down with him and try to do some counseling if you truly want to work things out with him for your marriage and kids. Also mention that if he don't stop that you are going to get a divorce! After doing what you feel like that "MIGHT HELP" and it still doesn't work out then file for a divorce! (After doing this you can at least say you tried!) And nekoyukidoll is most likely right about the cheating thing!

Courtney Posey

..... I would sit down with him and try to do some counseling if you truly want to work things out with him for your marriage and kids. Also mention that if he don't stop that you are going to get a divorce! After doing what you feel like that "MIGHT HELP" and it still doesn't work out then file for a divorce! (After doing this you can at least say you tried!) And nekoyukidoll is most likely right about the cheating thing!

Paws84 Paws84

Divorce him and find someone that will treat you with respect. Even if it wasn't flirting, you said that you told him how it bothers you, and he still continues to do it. Unacceptable. I could not be with a man that wasn't satisfied with what he had at home.

nonmember avatar Alfonso

It could also be that he's trying to hint you about your own appearance. Like if he's telling another woman she's in great shape, he may be trying to motivate you into putting more effort into your appearance. I don't know what you look like but guys sometimes do that. Also, do you flirt or make him feel sexy too? It takes two to tango, just so you know

redK8... redK8blueSt8

I wonder what your husband says when you bluntly and directly tell him "When you compliment other women and say nice things to or about them, it makes me feel unloved because you do not compliment and say nice things about me". I wonder what he says in reply to "I feel like you don't value me because you disrespect me by flirting with other women as if you were available, EVEN IF you don't think so,  I DO, and you should".


Your husband may be so in denial that he is convinced of the crap he tries to diminish. When cruel brutal honesty is presented, so there is no wiggle room, what then? To continue on when he knows it hurts you is adultery of the heart at worst, and plain emotional abuse at best.

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