It doesn't have to be Father's Day to appreciate and celebrate the wise words our dads have passed along to us over the years. Or heck, the encouraging, wonderful wisdom other women's dads have passed on to their daughters. Take a recent open letter written by licensed clinical psychologist and daddy blogger Dr. Kelly Flanagan, which has gone fantastically viral for a brilliant reason. Not only is it a completely heartwarming plea from father to daughter, but it underlines a serious problem we have when it comes to love and relationships ...
In the letter, "A Daddy's Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)," Dr. Flanagan explains that when he and his daughter's mom discovered that among the most popular searches in the world was "how to keep him interested," he was startled. He saw the countless articles about "how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior," and soon, he got angry.
As he should! As WE should! What the hell? What year is it again?
Sadly, even though we're well beyond June Cleaver's era, "keeping him interested" and "pleasing your man" is still a running theme being peddled to girls and women of all ages. And that's seriously disturbing.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying that women shouldn't CARE at all about keeping the sparks flying. Both partners need be invested in one another's happiness and the health of their relationship. The problem is the message many women's magazines and other media still seem to be pushing on us -- that making him happy is all that matters. And we're still hearing the message that we need to change, alter, bend, mold ourselves to do that. It's sick.
And it's why Flanagan felt the need to tell his little girl that all you should really need to do to "keep him interested" is be yourself. And if that's not enough, then he's not Mr. Right.
Flanagan said he wrote the letter not only to his daughter but for his wife, "who has courageously held on to her sense of worth and has always held me accountable to being that kind of 'boy,'" and for "every grown woman I have met inside and outside of my therapy office -- the women who have never known this voice of a Daddy," and for "the generation of boys-becoming-men who need to be reminded of what is really important -- my little girl finding a loving, lifelong companion is dependent upon at least one of you figuring this out. I’m praying for you."
Besides Facebook "likes" galore, this man deserves a standing ovation. After all, his poignant letter to his "Cutie-Pie" is something we could ALL stand to hear more.
What do you think of the letter? Do you agree women still hear all too often that we need to change ourselves to make our men happy?
Do it yourself
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