broken heartBecause cheaters don't already feel awful enough for what they do, they should all know that screwing around behind your partner's back is an act worse than suicide, so says the general public. Affairs are apparently no longer the sexy roll in the hay, movie plot thing to do. But don't tell that to Brad and Angelina. They did do it years ago so it's clear times have changed. It's better to just get divorced. I guess if you are unfaithful and then get divorced, you might as well die.

Even worse though ... if you are unfaithful, file for divorce, and believe in human cloning, you might as well swallow a shovel on fire and put burning toothpicks in your eyes and wait for your slow death. These findings are all based on a poll that makes you lose faith and realize the awfulness in humankind.

This Gallop poll shows that having an affair is considered one of the most immoral things anyone can do. It's totally immoral. And wrong. We can all agree on that. It's lame. But it happens. All the time. Ninety-one percent of those polled (out of 1,535 American adults) found that cheating on your spouse is worse than suicide, human cloning, and polygamy. Polygamy sounds like a living hell if you ask me.

Someone once told me that having an affair was amazing. Tons of fun. Some of the most exciting stuff ever. But she also knew she never wanted to leave her husband. She just liked the thrill of the affair. I was very confused after she told me that. Not judgmental because wow have I learned the hard way that you truly cannot judge someone unless you have lived their exact life, which thankfully is an impossibility unless you are cloned, in which case that's just weird and bad but not as bad as cheating. Remember this revelation is all about judging others. CHEATING IS SINFUL! CHEATERS SHOULD JUST OFF THEMSELVES. LET'S BE JUDGY! Why am I shouting?!? Shhh. Don't out the cheaters.

Cheaters know cheating is awful. It's why they sneak around to do it. It's not one of those things said over morning coffee. "Honey, I'll be home late today because I'm having sex with this chick at the office. Kiss the kids good night for me, please."

"Okay, darling. Please just shower before bed this time. Her perfume isn't favorable to me."

"Of course, my love." *kiss*

In some states, adultery is a crime. Unfavorable perfume should be. Perhaps we aren't into fooling around on our spouses due to the Puritanical view of marriage that a woman, specifically women, becomes a man's property when they enter marriage. The Scarlet Letter. We do take their name, ladies. (Scratching my head.) We lost that disdain for infidelity 40 years ago when only half of Americans thought it was the worst thing a person could do. But now only 9 percent think an affair can be okay. We accept divorce way better now, pre-marital sex is a-okay, and so is having babies out of wedlock. My have we changed. For better or for worse?

It seems this extreme negative view of cheating comes from the fact that we generally feel many are truly thinking things through before getting married. Many marry older, after following a career path or dating around (even slutting around). So settling down with one person and saying "I do" is thought of as something done when really, really ready to do such a thing. But just because that is somewhat true, it doesn't make us all immune to infidelity.

People cheat for a variety of reasons. They feel unloved. Under-appreciated. Neglected. Lonely. When you think of it that way, could you feel some compassion for the cheater?

Interestingly, the same people who think having an affair is worse than killing yourself believe there is such a thing as having sex with others as long as you are honest with your spouse. So in order to truly avoid scorn, before you cheat, ask for permission. Or just get divorced first. 

Do you think cheating is the most immoral thing a person can do? Worse than suicide?

 

Image via Kate Ter Haar/Flickr