"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
There once was a woman who had a great marriage -- let's call her Teresa*. She's in her 30s, has a couple of kids, has been married to Leo* about seven years. She was happy. Happy with her kids, her life, her sex life. Leo, however, wanted more from her. He didn't want her to take more camping trips or cruises even though he knew she hated but endured the outdoors and the open seas, he wanted her to be submissive in the bedroom. He wanted to dominate her and it scared the crap out of her. So much so it's changed their sex life even without any kinky stuff thrown in. I'll let Teresa explain.
It felt as if things were going just fine. Life was good. My sex life with Leo was great. We had quickies and even some long sessions. We'd sneak out to the garage while the kids were cleaning up after dinner and make out like we were in high school. We both had a lot of love and lust for each other and we found time for it at least twice a week, sometimes more. Then one day Leo spanked me. During sex. WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING? I asked him. My mood changed. My concentration broken. He had never, ever done that before in the seven years we were married or the three we dated prior to that. He sort of knew I wasn't into that because we had a conversation about it a few times over the years. But here he was DOING IT.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I got carried away."
I asked him if he had been reading Fifty Shades of Grey. What in the heck. He said no. It was the only time our sex was interrupted by something other than the children. He told me he wanted to dominate me. He wanted to try new things like that. He wanted to spank me, tie me up, blindfold me -- all this stuff that I was not into at all. HELP!!!!
Did my husband just turn into a stranger? is what I wondered.
I told him no. I'm not into it. None of that. It made him feel bad. And then I felt bad. I handled it wrong, I guess. I overreacted. But that's how I am. He knows me -- I'm an over-reactor. He can't just come at me with what he had to know was a huge change in our sex life and expect me to roll with it. I'm just not that kind of person. He spanked me during sex -- he should have talked to me about wanting to do it before he actually did it.
Now things are weird a little. I don't want it to be weird at all. I don't want to be submissive. But I do want my husband's desire and our sex life back.
What advice would you give Teresa? Do you think Leo should have talked to her first? What should they do?
*Names have been changed
Image via MadEmoiselle Sugar/Flickr