What Having an Appetite for '50 Shades of Grey' Sex Might Say About You

leather hand cuffsNo matter what critics of the Fifty Shades of Grey series have to say about the books' writing or potential underlying sexist or abusive messages in the story, researchers published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine seem to be on the Christian Grey bandwagon! They say that in their study, people who practice BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) appeared to be healthier mentally than those who stuck to vanilla sex.

Whoa, maybe that means Christian wasn't "fifty shades of f-ed up" after all?!

It's true! Although the book, to some extent, and society would have us believe people who are into BDSM may have been abused, raped, or suffer from mental disorders, this survey found that people who had a taste for "kinky f***ery," as Christian would put it, were less neurotic, more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in their relationships, and had better overall well-being. Wow!

It's actually not that hard to believe, considering that people who are into unconventional sexual practices do tend to be "more aware of and communicative about their sexual desires," said the lead author of the study, Andreas Wismeijer. The research also notes that they may be better off mentally because they have done "hard psychological work" to accept and live with sexual needs that are beyond the scope of what is often considered socially acceptable to discuss in the mainstream.

More from The Stir: E.L. James Fires Up Christian Grey Rumors With Teasing Confession

Innnteresting. Although, I do feel like it bears noting that this research wasn't reflective of the general population, since the participants were selected on a volunteer basis ... It also seems sort of nuts to draw sweeping conclusions that people who are more vanilla in their sexual preferences are more neurotic, less open, etc. Still, I do think this research makes it clear that being into BDSM doesn't necessarily mean you're "fifty shades." Even though that description has a much sexier connotation since Christian and Ana came along ...

Do you buy this research? What do you think your sexual preferences say about your mental health?

 

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Katy Shaw

To participate in healthy BDSM play a couple is required to communicate their wants, desires, fantasies, dislikes, boundaries, and limits. They must also have a somewhat intuitive knowledge of your partner, to read and respond to their cues. All this would do well not just in any sexual partnership, but much of it can be applied to life, creating one who is not afraid to speak their mind in a situation, and to set and abide by limits. Some people are shy about talking to their partners about these things. If you're too afraid to talk to your sexual partner, the one you are hopefully most intimate with, how can you expect to talk to stand up to another with authority?

Lindsay Renee Edwards

i think everyone is different. for me, i AM into these things, but i AM also "50 shades of fucked up"
its funny though. in my opinion about myself, my sex life is the only healthy thing about me, psychologically speaking.
its the only time i feel i can just be myself, and not have to be in control every second. i also dont view sex like most americans. i am perfectly capable of having casual sex, or being in a monogomous relationship, and i dont think one is better than the other. 

Kate Cooley

It means you're into crappy fanfiction. I feel for the people who actually practice BDSM - they're going to spend forever hearing about this junky "book series."


 

Setsuki Setsuki

It bothers me to no end being in the scene and hearing every person mention that dang book. For me I am one with myself and the partner I am with. Life becomes simple and good.

Sara Cunningham

50 Shades is definitely not anything like the actual scene, and I wish people would take the time to learn about it before assuming that it's the same thing.

Aldrea Lockheart

50 Shades is a poor representation of the BDSM lifestyle, simple as that. But if reading the books makes people curious and want to try these things, more power to them. Now that I'm in a BDSM relationship, I can't imagine NOT being in one ever again. It's just the way I am. I didn't need the BDSM lifestyle to be more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in my relationships, but it has helped with my trust issues and confidence.
Everyone is different and people will like what they like.

Iva Wells

Sara Cunningham, I Agree with you'r comment mostly about ( and I wish people would take the time to learn about it before assuming that it's the same thing. ) I think everyone should Learn about something before they Think Right away it is the same thing :)

Aldrea Lockheart, I agree with your comment mostly about ( Everyone is different and people will like what they like. ) Cause that is Very True, everyone is different and they like what they like :)

--------------------------------------

As for me I like the Book's :) I see nothing wrong with people. Doing this kind of stuff shrug's.. for me, Some people want that kind for thing... THEN Some people don't want that kind of thing, shrug's...

Everyone think's, in a Way Everything is the Same Thing < Wrong ! Everything is not the Same Thing, it's Different To Everyone... For Example
Kid's Riding The Bus, to school some get picked on EVERY DAY !! Then... Some Don't it's Different !! Another Example
A Teenager, Like's One Music... But another Teenager doesn't like that kind of Music. This Teenager like's another kind of Music.. Again Different everyday, For everyone < No Mather What

that's One, thing I think EVERYONE should keep in mind. Everything is Different to Everyone.
Like BDSM....
some people think BDSM is the Same Thing, WRONG. It's different for people, Everyone does BDSM differently and in there Own Way's ( Have I Ever, Done BDSM. No I Haven't )

kperras kperras

BDSM is different for everyone. Moat people who like the books not everyone cause I liked the books, didn't even know of this type of sexual desire or they did and didn't know what to call it. I think the book opens up to people that sometimes hurting one another as in hitting during sex can actually create pleasure. But juat because in the book he is messed up from what has happened to him as a child has nothing to do with that type of relationship. Some people like just because they do not because something happened to them in their life. I don't even know why they would even do a study on this. This is sexual desire and should only be spoken about with the person you are having a relationship with.


 

April Lee

The problem wasn't the BDSM lifestyle. Christian IS '50 shades of fucked up,' because it IS an abusive relationship. There is zero doubt about it. Now, if people choose to not see that part and only see the fun, kinky part, fine.. and that's what I hear the fans of this book saying. They love that. But the characters are not just your typical Harelquin romance novel pathetic, ridiculous.. whatever. Which we all expect when we read that stuff so we like to skip that part and forget it.. The problem with Christian is that he truly IS an abusive partner no matter how much he loves her.

Do you remember the part where she calls him about the books, he demands to knwo where she is because she's drunk and without her permission, he shows up to the bar? And he has to stalk her to do it, by the way. She mentions several times she is afraid of Christian and "would never want to cross him." Also SEVERAL times he crosses her boundaries without apologizing. I mean.. it was horrifying to see how many times. That is the WORST example of BDSM and the BEST example of abuse (controlling, manipulative, she agrees to things because she's afraid, etc.. I could go on)

The book is practical a manual to stay in an abusive relationship. That's the issue. Not BDSM (and I agree with the study mentioned above. My personal experience with people in the BDSM is similar).

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