5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have Sex With a Friend

Friends on the beachHas this ever happened to you? You're out with one of your friends, who happens to have a penis, and you somehow end up falling in to bed with him.

How'd that go for you?

I did this once. And I admit there was alcohol involved. Lost in the moment, it seemed like a good idea. We were alone on an island for a night. Who could it hurt? But after our one and done encounter, our friendship was never the same. Having sex permanently changes your relationship, no matter how close you were before.

So while I’m all for having casual sex, here are 5 reasons why having sex with a friend will ruin your friendship:

1. A little knowledge is dangerous: Sex is intimate. No way around that. You’ll come out of it knowing too much about each other. Like the grunts he makes or the size of his....
2. It’s unfulfilling: Either it’s a quickie or he just doesn’t know, or care, how to do it for you. If you’re going to risk a friendship, the reward better come in the form of an orgasm. Or multiple ones.
3. If there's no chemistry: You try it. It sucks. You never look at your friend the same way again. All you can think about is how quickly you wanted it to be over so you can get dressed..
4. Feelings might change: He may want to make you his girl. Or you might fantasize about him becoming your boyfriend. Chances are, this will happen for one or the other but not for both.
5. Once you do it: It's hard to go back to being just friends. Best case scenario, you are both able to pretend it never happened. Worst case scenario, you end up losing the friendship.

So do yourself a favor. Keep it platonic with your pals. You need all of the friends you can get. Go have some casual sex with a semi-stranger. Or, even better, have your friend set you up with one of his friends.

Have you had a "friend with benefits" before? How'd it go?


Image via Tony Alter/Flickr

hooking up, sex, turn-offs

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Lindsay Renee Edwards

i disagree. i've been there, it can work. im very good friends with 3 men i slept with in my younger years. we never dated. we had some flings, we moved on. we can still look eachother in the face. even when we're all in a room together. yep, we all hang out. with our s/os. they all know about everything also. 


we were teens/early 20s. we're all 30 or over now. we're MORE than over it.

Natural Soap

Yes I believe we can be friends , I disagree with this post ...

Rose12j Rose12j

I disagree we are still very good friends. Agreed we don't tell the people we are with now not to cause anything while we are all together. We laugh about it when we are talking, all in all everything is still the same, our friendship is still the same. :)

SaphireH SaphireH

i slept with a friend and after he wanted nothing to do with me even though we knew each other for 18 yrs and i still talk with his mom dad and sis but we dont speak anymore and it sucks

caral... caralicious

I slept with my best male friend and we have been together for the last 6 years

nonmember avatar MS Kati

I have had sex with a friend and it was quite fun. I hope to do it again some time.

insei... inseineangel

2 of my closest and best friends are guys that I slept with. One is the best friend I could ever hope to find in my lifetime, and there is no awkwardness between us whatsoever. We haven't messed around with eachother in nearly 2 years now, but we talk almost every day, see eachother once every week or 2, and he's always there to rescue me when I need it. The other was an ongoing thing for 5 or 6 years (unless he started dating someone. I have a strict rule about not messing around with people who are attached). I talk to him quite frequently still. And both of their girlfriends like and trust me, even knowing the past history. It becomes a mistake when one or the other develops more romantic feelings that are unrequited. 

BGarcel BGarcel

I havent done that but 2 friends of mine have and they have no problems staying friends.

nonmember avatar Malu

We didnot have real sex, he only fingered me,but ever since then i have not been able to look straight into his eye

nonmember avatar michael

Ive had multiple friends like this. The problem I had was that with no intentions of being a couple it never was "just once". One night turned into a year or 6 months and guilt of holding your friend back from finding someone sets in. Im currently having sex with a friend who tells me she has a four year plan to marry me. I think shes nuts. now what do I do? If I cut her off Im sure the friendship will end. It sucks.

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