7 Marriage Dealbreakers No One Should Ever Put Up With

broken marriageFor most people, getting married is a forever kind of thing. No one ever vows "'til death do us part" with the intention of only being together for a short while. But the reality is, sometimes life intrudes and things happen and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.

We read a lot about dating dealbreakers and reasons a person might break up with a boyfriend, but there are very few marriage dealbreakers. After all, one person might be willing to put up with something that had caused another person to leave months before. Debt is one of those things. But there are others, too.

Here are 7 marriage dealbreakers that have caused many a divorce for all the right reasons:

Drinking: There is drinking and then there is DRINKING. Having spent a fair amount of my early adulthood with a man who drank too much, I know what it's like to watch one beer turn into eight and not know when he was going to stop. I know what it's like to constantly hear he's done drinking only to watch him get drunk again that night. At a certain point, I would never blame anyone for throwing in the towel on this kind of marriage.

Smoking: Cigarettes may be a compromise, though honestly, I can't imagine wanting to kiss someone who smelled like butts. But there are other things that people smoke and pot heads don't always make the best hubbies. What was cute at 21 isn't so adorable at 35.

Gambling: This is an addiction like any other. If a person doesn't want to get help, then sometimes it may be best to end it before debt, fighting, and financial ruin take it down anyway.

Overspending: This is a big one. No one wants to be with someone who can't stop shopping. Finances are the number one cause of divorce for many people and who can blame them? His credit could ruin yours.

Cheating More Than Once: This one is obvious. Maybe it could be forgiven in certain circumstances, but not more than once.

Abuse: This one is obvious too, but a lot of people miss it. If he hits you one time, leave. Period. End of story. No man should ever hit a woman. Of course, physical abuse isn't the only kind of abuse, but people in love typically don't abuse one another. If they do, it's not love.

Unwillingness to Work on Things: The reality is, most of these things CAN be fixed, assuming both sides admit there is a problem. Barring that, marriages will fail. There has to be a willingness to work on what needs to be worked on.

What marriage dealbreakers have you heard about?

Image via lyudagreen/Flickr



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jacki... jackiecad

I left for 1,2, 6 & 7 only 9 months after I do. I got so swept up in our super fast engagement and finally getting married and all that is supposed to come with it that I didnt realize until it was to late. Best decision i ever made with that relationship...

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

Please, smoking? Seriously? Maybe it's a regional thing but I find Americans are so prudish about smoking.

nonmember avatar NoWay

"A man should never hit a woman" ... well ... A woman should never hit a man, either! People who love each other do not want to hurt each other. And Emma ... smoking is disgusting. Non-smokers do not usually like kissing an ashtray. I know ... my ex-husband was a smoker. (No, this is not the "reason" he is my ex, but it didn't help matters).

Tesserae Tesserae

Oh boy. I put up with binge drinking, not coming home for entire weekends, pot use, emotional and physical neglect of our marriage, percocet addiction. I tried to make it work for 10 yrs. Then he cheated. I finally called it quits. So yeah, I have a high tolerance for b.s. but cheating was my limit!

mande... manderspanders

Hmmm... I'd say a portion of the time, you'd know about these things BEFORE getting hitched.  If it is a dealbreaker, then don't get married to begin with!  You can't change your spouse! And you should never get married under the delusion that things will just get better afterward.

nonmember avatar blue

I agree with all of these things, but aren't most something you know before marriage? If you marry someone who does this, it's not right to demand a change after. I would just never entertain commitment with someone who did any of these things.

hopef... hopefulmommieLW

If you love someone, truly love someone then you put up with shit (except abuse) the same way they put up with your shit! I`m sure the author of this article is not perfect just like everyone else. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Nobody is willing to WORK at it anymore. All these problems were there in the 50`s too, but divorce rate was lower back then. Put a little effort into your marriage AND yourself and see what it gets you...A HAPPY MARRIAGE! I know, I speak from experience!

fave82 fave82

Um i think id be much more forgiving about smoking than i would about cheating.. No matter what the circumstances .. One time and you're out.

mandy... mandysue88

Grow together learn together work it out together. Non of this ruins a marriage its not being willing to fix it together that destroys marriage. Marriage is forever, and can be forever if you take time to show one another that you care. Love is never perfect but with time it can be all you need.

nonmember avatar Sarah

Marrying a man who refuses or talks about how he doesn't want to pay child support to his ex.. Major turn off!

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