When I started dating after my divorce, I quickly found out that it was easier to date guys who had kids. Not for the instant playdates, because the guys I went out with didn’t meet my kids, but because they understood the demands of parenting and the trials of co-parenting.
And before I fell in love with the divorced dad who became my second husband, I went out with a handful of these men.
There was the guy whose kid went to my kid’s school. The guy whose custody schedule matched mine. And the guy whose ex-wife I ran into at the grocery store, where she gave me the evil eye and the once-over. (Hey lady, you were already divorced when I started dating your husband. Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him. He’s no prize.)
Some of them were doozies. Child-like, selfish, emotionally stunted. Whew, it was almost enough to make me want to spend my nights alone with a cat. So to save you a little time, here are 5 types of divorced dads to stay away from:
1. Sitter Dad: This dad isn't comfortable being alone with his kids. He didn't spend this much time with them when he was married. So he wants someone else to be there when it's his weekend with his children who can take care of them.
2. Bitter Dad: He complains about his ex-wife constantly -- and how she's spending his money. Images of a credit card-wielding Medusa come to mind. Until you realize he was probably this way before he got divorced.
3. Sex-Driven Dad: He's the one whose wife didn't put out for the last couple years of their marriage and he's just looking to screw around. Which is fine if that's what you want too. Just beware of his desire for multiple conquests.
4. Emotional Wreck Dad: This dad is so scarred by his past relationships that he can't move forward with someone new. And he thinks you are going to be as controlling as his ex-wife and as critical as his mother. You feel bad for him, but he's not willing to work on healing himself. So, see ya.
5. College Student Dad: He's using his divorce, and his single status, to live like he's in college. Laundry on the floor, mold in the bathroom, video games on constantly, and a fridge full of cheap domestic beer. He hasn't made it homey for his kids, either. But they actually like spending the night in sleeping bags.
So what's the best type of dad to date? In my experience, it's the dad who's been divorced for a while, puts a lot of time and effort into his relationship with his kid(s), and is respectful to his ex-wife.
My husband is like that. Except for one thing: his laundry somehow still ends up on the floor.
Have you ever dated one of these types of divorced dads?
Image via Lucid Nightmare/Flickr