5 Types of Divorced Dads You Don't Want to Date

LOL 27

Dad playing footballWhen I started dating after my divorce, I quickly found out that it was easier to date guys who had kids. Not for the instant playdates, because the guys I went out with didn’t meet my kids, but because they understood the demands of parenting and the trials of co-parenting.

And before I fell in love with the divorced dad who became my second husband, I went out with a handful of these men.

There was the guy whose kid went to my kid’s school. The guy whose custody schedule matched mine. And the guy whose ex-wife I ran into at the grocery store, where she gave me the evil eye and the once-over. (Hey lady, you were already divorced when I started dating your husband. Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him. He’s no prize.)

Some of them were doozies. Child-like, selfish, emotionally stunted. Whew, it was almost enough to make me want to spend my nights alone with a cat. So to save you a little time, here are 5 types of divorced dads to stay away from:

1. Sitter Dad: This dad isn't comfortable being alone with his kids. He didn't spend this much time with them when he was married. So he wants someone else to be there when it's his weekend with his children who can take care of them.

2. Bitter Dad: He complains about his ex-wife constantly -- and how she's spending his money. Images of a credit card-wielding Medusa come to mind. Until you realize he was probably this way before he got divorced.

3. Sex-Driven Dad: He's the one whose wife didn't put out for the last couple years of their marriage and he's just looking to screw around. Which is fine if that's what you want too. Just beware of his desire for multiple conquests.

4. Emotional Wreck Dad: This dad is so scarred by his past relationships that he can't move forward with someone new. And he thinks you are going to be as controlling as his ex-wife and as critical as his mother. You feel bad for him, but he's not willing to work on healing himself. So, see ya.

5. College Student Dad: He's using his divorce, and his single status, to live like he's in college. Laundry on the floor, mold in the bathroom, video games on constantly, and a fridge full of cheap domestic beer. He hasn't made it homey for his kids, either. But they actually like spending the night in sleeping bags.

So what's the best type of dad to date? In my experience, it's the dad who's been divorced for a while, puts a lot of time and effort into his relationship with his kid(s), and is respectful to his ex-wife.

My husband is like that. Except for one thing: his laundry somehow still ends up on the floor.

Have you ever dated one of these types of divorced dads?


Image via Lucid Nightmare/Flickr

divorce, dating, turn-offs


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Brain... BrainyMommy

Same applies for divorced women, too. Wanted to make that clear. 

One thing I did like about dating divorced dads was that I could observe how he was with his children. A man won't treat you any better than he treats his own flesh and blood. If he was a creep to his children then I knew he'd be a creep to me (eventually - maybe not during the courtship days - but definitely later on). I ran like hell from any men I saw who were lousy towards their kids.

hello... hellokd87

Brainy, that is a great point to bring up. It's like the same theory that the way a man treats his mother is the way he'll treat his wife.

Coles... Coles_mom

The only kind of dad I could date would be one with grown kids who don't live at home. I did the young step-kid thing with my first Husband and it was a nightmare.

LadyM... LadyMinni

hellokd87, I must disagree. My dad hates his mom, but he loves his wife! My fiance treats his mother with a sort of indifference, but he treats me like a queen.

I'm not sure I could date a divorced dad. I once dated a divorced non-dad for all of three days and he was horrible. He was a combination of all of the above divorced men, only without kids.

nonmember avatar mlw0216

Number one is my ex through and through! I have no idea what his current girlfriend sees in him.

jessa... jessasmamma

My ex-husband is a combination of all of those things, he's definitely no winner. BUT - this is my main thing - don't date someone who COMPLAINS about child support, and better yet - don't date someone who refuses to take care of his child(ren)!

My ex is just shy of 30. He got out of the military a little over a year and a half ago, to avoid paying child support. Instead of moving close to his child, he moved in the opposite direction and now lives 1,000 miles away. He's in college and REFUSES TO WORK. He also refuses to provide court ordered medical insurance. In fact, he hasn't provided it since he was in the military. I've asked him why he doesn't have a job, he claims he "doesn't need one". But then he tries to say that he is going to get custody LOL - he has never had even ONE visitation with our child without his mother being there, and the one time he had her for like 5 days on his own - he left her with a complete stranger for over 36 hours!!!

jessa... jessasmamma

His newest girlfriend... she's honestly the biggest idiot I've ever even heard of. I've told her about his refusal to work, provide medical insurance, etc. She got mad AT ME because I'm "pathetic" for even asking for anything from him... really. She's some college girl who has never been a parent, so I don't expect her to understand my frustrations - but honestly, I don't understand how she thinks not supporting his child is okay. They are constantly at football games, going out of town, out to dinner, etc. yet they claim he "can't" afford medical insurance. It's pathetic. The best thing is that they keep checking into everywhere they go on facebook.. they think they're just making me mad, when in reality they're providing me with proof for court LOL i love stupid people!

amnew... amnewlon8982

Facebook can be a good thing. Recently my ex, my eldest daughters father, filed for visitation for a child he's never seen for 8 years. So when he tracked us down he thought he was gonna get under my skin, when in reality he's now being made to pay her medical and soon to come child support. And the kicker is the judge won't allow visitation because it's in her best interest not to see her because the only man she's ever known as daddy is my current husband and the judge refuses to uproot her stable home life.

Lindsay Renee Edwards

ive dated these guys. the worst, IMO, is the college kid one.
the one i dated didnt have kids, and i quickly found out why his ex was so willing to be rid of him. he was one of those that NEEDED a woman. i would show up unexpectedly to his house (i was allowed, he gave me a key) only to find that he had been living in the living room, only leaving it to pee (unless those soda bottles werent full of mountain dew... i didnt check) he had BAGS AND BAGS of trash surrounding his couch.
several times i made him get up and clean his house. once when i saw he had been trying without me telling him, i did it for him while he was at work.

then i realized... i just took on a 200lb child. and i didnt want it.
when i dumped him, he blamed everything from my relationship with my kids' dad, to claiming i must have cheated, saying he was depressed, and blaming me for it, all the way to claiming i never loved him anyway.

he was an emotionally manipulative man child. NO THANK YOU!

nonmember avatar Lue bamboo

I'm recently divorced dad and I'm not like the picture you're all painting. I love my son and have and will champion everything for his benefit. I have asked for nothing in the divorce and I'm willing to pay for anything that is in his best interest ( medical, daycare, etc.) I just think I married the person from the get go. Her parents have a love less marriage but the stay together anyways. I didn't divorce her, she divorced me. It didn't end ugly because I cheated on her or anything. It ended because I didn't want her family living with us once we had a child. Every since my son was born 11 of her family members lived with us. I know... It takes a village but come on. Now reading all these post I fear I will never find companion again. I'm always trying to be a better man but it seems it is of no use since now I'm marked with title of divorced.

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