Sex Confession: Woman Admits She’s Afraid to Experience Pleasure

Say What!? 6

orgasm newspaper"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Some of us cannot wait to have an orgasm. We can't wait for sex with our lovers; we can't wait to pleasure ourselves. But some women fear taking themselves to ecstasy. Maybe it's a fear of the unknown if they have never had an orgasm before. Maybe they just can't allow themselves to let go enough and relax to get there. Diane* has that problem. She just doesn't want to have an orgasm. She's afraid of having one. She had one once, she says, and it made her feel weird afterward. And she doesn't talk about it at all with her husband of 11 years with whom she has two kids with. I'll let Diane explain.

I want to start out by saying that I've never been abused in any way. This isn't some block thing or some hang up I have due to something that happened in my past. Simply put, I'm just not into getting myself all worked out. I'm just not that type of person. I don't like getting sweaty. I don't like working out. I don't like running. I don't like doing anything rigorous. And I don't like having orgasms. I think they are overrated.

Granted I've only had one once. But that's all it took for me to reason it wasn't worth the trouble. Not worth the faking either. My husband knows I don't have orgasms and have no interest in them so he stopped trying. Our sex life has been a lot better since then. Before that it felt like endless hours of him trying and me trying to tell him it's not going to happen and I'm happy about that. No really. I'm happy. I love getting him off. But that's where it stops.

I'll also admit that I'm afraid to orgasm. Not terrified. But afraid of it. It felt weird. Not good. Weird. Wrong. Messy. Kind of hurt. Annoying. I can't really explain it better than that. But it's just not something I am at all interested in. I like sex. I just don't like to have an orgasm.

What do you think of this confession?

Image via Matt Jiggins/Flickr

orgasm, sex confession


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Nurse... Nursekelly1980

I'm sad for her, but if she's ok with that and doesn't want to seek help that's her deal.

nonmember avatar D

If it didn't feel good, it probably wasn't an orgasm.

Just saying...

Cel7777 Cel7777

I can't help wonder if she has some kind of condition that makes orgasm painful? When she said it "kind of hurt", that surprised me. I've never known an orgasm to be painful, but maybe it's common and I just wasn't aware of it?

BGarcel BGarcel

There is more to this. Either she doesn't realize it or doesnt want whatever it is to 'be' the issue and instead is looking for other possible answers.

So... what's the actual problem though? She has chosen not to have orgasms and her husband has stopped trying to give her orgasms.

biffster biffster

what do you do?  just lie there like a dead fish while your man pleasures himself on top of you?

it sounds like you're just too lazy to move.  ever.


Hurri... HurricaneTalia

What? Just.. Wow.. I.. Geez. I feel REALLY sorry for your husband. You ever stop to think that it's giving him a complex because you won't open up enough to explore your issues and why you won't even attempt to get off with him? Honey, there is something going on here, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Were you brought up in a particularly religious houshold? A lot of times shame can be a stigma attached to a woman's pleasure because they are taught it's "Bad" or "Wrong" Simply another reason I despise that particular religion. Seriously, you need to get some therapy. NOW!

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