I’m coming up on the seven-year anniversary of my second marriage.
And I’m really, really happy in my relationship with my husband.
But I can’t help thinking back to this same time in my first marriage, when I was unhappy and contemplating divorce. Which I followed through with just a year later.
What a difference the second time around has been. I have no doubt that this marriage will last for an eternity.
And I’m not alone. A study by the Marriage Foundation found that second marriages are less likely to end in divorce. While 45 percent of first marriages break up, only 31 percent of second marriages follow suit.
I like those statistics. And I agree with the reasons that go along with them: age and experience.
When I got married the first time, I did it because sure, I was in love with my husband-to-be. But I was also in my late 20s and all my friends were getting married too. I wanted the things that I thought marriage guaranteed: love, intimacy, security, and children.
I got the children. Because of them, I'll never say that I shouldn’t have gotten married the first time. But looking back, I know that ultimately, my ex-husband and I weren’t suited for each other. Not by a long shot.
After I got divorced, I was in no hurry to get into another relationship. I had my kids, a job I enjoyed, and good friends. Plus I wanted to have fun, play the field a little, and have casual sex. So when I did finally start dating again, I knew exactly what I didn't want in a boyfriend, and later, a husband.
Plus, the only real reason to get married a second time was to live happily ever after with a true partner whom I was madly in love with. I found that with my second husband. And then some.
Sure this marriage has its own set of circumstances, the most stressful being that we are a blended family. Which means that my husband lives with my teenaged kids most of the time. And his teen daughter comes to stay with us every other weekend and half of the holidays.
And that's not always easy, but after almost seven years, we’ve pretty much got it worked out. And in a few years, the kids will be going away to college.
We'll be left with just each other. I can't wait.
If you're on marriage number two, how is it different for you?
Image via Tim Green aka atoach/Flickr