10 Reasons I Couldn't Be the 'Older Woman'

It’s been a while since I shared a misadventure of a single sister in the city but this latest one is a winner.

Last month, I went to a birthday celebration in Philly for my not-even-a-year-younger-than-me sister, another product of the infamous babymaker who is my father. Her friends and some of her other siblings crammed into the space she reserved at a Moroccan restaurant and I—all late and wrong since I cut my hair and can’t get the ish to look decent enough for public viewing—sat uncharacteristically quiet in my seat. Even chatterboxes like yours truly get introverted sometimes. Then again, the hair keeps me a little more sedated as of late.

Out on the street, one of her other guests approached me to introduce himself. It seemed perfectly innocent, since he mentioned something about applying for a job in D.C., and since I live in D.C., I just figured homeboy was networking. 

He was cute and had a little weight on him, which is exactly the kind of guys I like, but I could’ve sworn he’d also said something in the party about just graduating from college. So naturally, I was paying him zero mind. 

Turns out dude was interested. Interested and 24, and I have a birthday coming up in two weeks that will make me darn near 10 years older than that young man. The whole age-ain’t-nothing-but-a-number thing just doesn’t sit well with me, particularly—especially—when the number in question equals a whole decade. He probably never even heard of Fraggle Rock, for goodness sake.

This isn’t my first time being approached by a youngin. It’s happening more frequently, as a matter of fact, and the guys in question are getting lower and lower into their 20s. I could fluff my hair (I could, but I won’t) and take it as a compliment, but I wonder I’ve unknowingly crossed over into full-on cradle robber status. Was I eating a really good taco when it happened? How could I not notice?

There are several reasons why I can’t see a big ol’ gaping age difference working out favorably.   

1. I couldn’t get guys to act right when I was 20-something, so what in the hell are my chances now?

2. On that note, I can’t get guys my own age to act right, so what are the chances of being at peace with a wily 25-year-old?

3. Our frame of reference is totally different. Songs I partied to in college, he remembers fondly from, like, fifth grade. That makes me feel like I missed being a pervert by thismuch.

4. Uhhh, and then he’s only 10 years or so older than my kid. That’s weird, too.

5. I can’t help but feel old hanging with someone still accomplishing those early-life milestones. First real job, first apartment. I can’t cheer him on without feeling like his mama. I don’t have a son, so I don’t want to feel like a grown man’s mama.

6. Basically, he’s not established.  
7. Also, I’m not the boy toy type.

8 Also, it would be a second journey through the perils of that decade and once was pretty much enough.

9. That gap means I’m that much further along in the aging process. My nip-and-tuck budget is nonexistent and unless I take up a Kickstarter campaign towards my Lifestyle Lift, I can’t imagine that the older woman look is always going to be appealing.

10. He’ll always be 10 years younger. That might eventually start to piss me off.

He’s persistent, I’ll give him that much. But all signs are pointing to never. Go ‘head, tell me I’m being superficial and limited, and that as long as he’s mature, it doesn’t really matter. I’m listening. In the meantime, do spirit fingers to send some youthful, fun-loving, yet age-appropriate men my way.

How young is too young?

Image via PhotoAtelier/Flickr

dating, dating mom, turn-offs


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nonmember avatar Sarah

"Songs I partied to in college, he remembers fondly from, like, fifth grade"

This quote. It pretty much describes DH and I. There's 9 years between us, and he's 30 right now.

I don't think it's creepy though. We both enjoyed the music when it was out. It's not as if he was 18 years old and staring at me in third grade!

I think the most important thing is that we have come to find another person that completes the other in unimaginable ways.

He has no issues being an older dad, and honestly I think he will excel at it because he finally has grasped the maturity required to be a parent, not just a sperm donor.

ruby_... ruby_jewel_04

My dh is 12 years older, and I STILL feel like I married a damn child. I don't think it matters their age. They are all immature.

nonmember avatar annoyed3

Grow up ! The way this lady writes her articles and word choices you would think that she was 24. She's the one who is immature. Nobody cares why you wouldn't date a younger guy and the article title didn't even make sense.

Serab... Serabelle

I am totally on board with this article! As a single woman at 27, I won't date anyone more than 10 years older (which is still pushing it) or 2 years younger. I'm already not ok with my 28th birthday coming up, let alone 30 on the horizon, I couldn't handle a guy that was like 22-24, I'd be mad at them for just existing in my life, lol. That's just me though, to each their own!

nonmember avatar Jen

I understand where you're coming from as it's also not for me. That being said, my aunt was 42 when she met her now-hubby in a bar and he was ten years younger. That was 17 years ago. Sometimes it can work. But me, I'm big on culture and I couldn't date someone who doesn't remember 90's Canadian rock music. It's a bonding thing for me.

1Step 1Step

My husband of over 10 years is 7 years younger than I.  I was in my mid '30's when we met and he was only 26.  Prior I had dated a man 13 years my senior for over 4 years. In neither relationship was age ever, ever an issue. Sure, rememberances are a bit different but so what??  That to me has zero importance.  How old someone is has NOTHING to do with maturity.  Not one darn thing. I know people in their '50s that act like spoiled brats, and teenagers that have their act together.  I agree with annoyed3 - this author always bugs me.  Need to stop reading her.

nonmember avatar mrhappy

hypergamy. the author haez it.

slcjcc09 slcjcc09

I like this author's writing style, at least in this article...when I finished reading it I scrolled up to see who the author was so that I could be sure to read more of her articles. 


SassB SassB

Take Kiri's advice call him back up, set a date and just do the boy. You'll either make his day (and week, month and year) giving him experience he won't see until 2023, or you'll discover sexual chemistry and a true young-buck-stud.

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