Elizabeth Smart Felt Like ‘Chewed Gum’ After Her Rape Because of Twisted Church Purity Lessons Like These

white roseA girl who loses her virginity is like a piece of chewed gum no one wants. That's one of the sexual purity lessons rape and kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart learned growing up as a Mormon girl. "After that first rape, I felt crushed. Who could want me now? I felt so dirty and so filthy. I understand so easily all too well why someone wouldn't run because of that alone."

Even though she lost her virginity through no fault of her own, she still felt like a lesser human being because she'd lost something supposedly more precious than her freedom or safety -- her virginity. I remember those awful lessons growing up as a Mormon, too (although I know they're not unique to Mormondom). I was taught it would be better to be shot and killed by my rapist than "allow" myself to be raped, like I'd have an effing choice! And there's more where that came from. Here's a few of my favorite insane sexual purity object lessons. Can we please stop telling our girls this nonsense?

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nonmember avatar blue

He didn't "lose" her virginity, it was violently TAKEN.

redK8... redK8blueSt8

There's a big difference between giving away your virginity and having it stolen by force. It's sad and disturbing that that lesson was not taught, or worse if like you and Elizabeth Smart state, that the opposite was taught.


 

miche... micheledo

Yep. There is a difference between choosing to have sex and having that taken from you. Unfortunately the church often combines those two and shouldn't.

Glenda50 Glenda50

this is part why I don't attend lds activities anymore most not all. But. Most are such hypocrites. This is not the word of god but man stupidity


 


 

BGarcel BGarcel

I'm a christian and I agree with this article.

Pinst... Pinstripes4

The biggest problem is that a woman's instrinsic value is intertwined with her sexuality. Even if a woman chooses to have sex, why should this be held above true tests of character like kindness and generosity? Elizabeth Smart shouldn't have to worry because the men who think she is lesser because of her ordeal are not worth poop anyway. Quality partners wouldn't due such a thing.

Lućia Bevilácqua

I don't quite agree that the lessons are nonsense. The lessons related to morality, and while having a good point, I wish they could've done it in a way that wasn't as demeaning.

nonmember avatar Dani

I remember a high school friend's dad asking her whether she wanted to be a paper plate someone used and threw away or fine china that someone treasures and displays. Her witty reply was, "I'd rather be a plastic plate that you can rinse and reuse". I'm still laughing about that 10 years later.

Patro... Patroller

I grew up LDS. I no longer practice it. I was taught to save myself before marriage, but was never told any nasty things like the author and many of the commenters here are saying. I was definitely never taught that I should rather die than be raped. Sounds like angry people spewing hate. I did not link to a real article, if there was one, but did she specifically say she felt that way because of what she learned in church? I am guessing that many women who have been in this same terrible situation have probably felt the same way she did, religious or not. 

Patro... Patroller

I grew up LDS. I no longer practice it. I was taught to save myself before marriage, but was never told any nasty things like the author and many of the commenters here are saying. I was definitely never taught that I should rather die than be raped. Sounds like angry people spewing hate. I did not link to a real article, if there was one, but did she specifically say she felt that way because of what she learned in church? I am guessing that many women who have been in this same terrible situation have probably felt the same way she did, religious or not. 

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