Sex Supposedly Gets Better With Age - Are You Buying It?


kissing coupleI think we all have hangups, particularly when it comes to our bodies. We think our belly is too jiggly, our butt too squishy, boobs too floppy, whatever too whatever-y. And that affects our sex life. If we're not confident with our bodies, how can we be confident rolling around naked with another naked body? It's why some will only have sex with the lights off or with a shirt on. But interestingly, while our bodies may have been firmer, smaller, or some twisted form of what we thought was better back in our 20s, our sex lives get better as we age.

Burn that into your brains 20-somethings! Old people sex is hot! They don't call it your dirty 30s for nothing. And while we're at it, let's call the next decades the f*&king fabulous 40s and 50s. A new study gives us proof and explanation of these totally sexy and exciting details on why we shouldn't fear getting older.

Researchers in the US polled over 2,000 men and women and found that sex gets better with age, particularly for men, but also for the ladies. Men are most sexually confident between the ages of 50 and 69 and women reach that peak between 18 and 29. But that's considering the law of averages. It varies, of course, and depends on each person's unique situation. The factors of why sex gets more awesome with age are very telling.

Essentially we worry less as we get older. When we're young we're sometimes so consumed with how we look and keeping up with the other hot, young biddies who look flawless in push-up bras and mesh thongs. The older we get, the more we have a "take me as I am" kind of attitude. Yes, confidence. This goes for both men and women -- just 34 percent of men are worried about gray hair or any of those physical signs of aging, compared to 56 percent of women. Ladies, we need to relax. Men aren't so worried, therefore we shouldn't be either. Who's with me in embracing my gray hairs?! You will be paid in sexual rewards if you stop worrying. I swear.

The less self-conscious you are when it comes to sex, the more you will enjoy it. And I think I can speak for many women in saying that we get more confident as time ticks by. This also translates into how adventurous we get when it comes to sex. A survey of women over 45 revealed that 89 percent like sexual variety and having sex in many different positions and places, including the garden. Sexy! And perhaps best of all is that older women are more likely than younger women to reach orgasm, not just once but multiple times. Now that's something every 20-year-old can look forward to when pondering her 40s.

What also plays a role here is the ability to trust. When we're young, trust is sometimes hard to earn. With age comes knowledge and long-term relationships, so trust grows, allowing some to really let their guard down and let go, opening the door to the best sex ever. For many women, sex is just as much about the mind as it is about the body, particularly when it comes to reaching orgasm. Sensuality -- isn't that the best word ever? Older women have that. We also don't have as many hangups and we're not afraid to ask for what we want between the sheets. And if you don't already know or ask for what you want, it's time to find out. There are multiple orgasms waiting to be had.

What do you think? Does sex get better with age? Why do you think it does?


Image via Marina Aguiar Araujo/Flickr

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BGarcel BGarcel

I dont think it's age that makes it better. I think its maturity. Im only in my early 20's but regularly get multi orgasms, have lots of sexual variety, and feel confident as hell.

On the other hand, am I saying that sex is going to get worse for me when I get older? No, Im not saying that. So I guess in principle it is expected that sex gets better with age.

1Step 1Step

I agree 100% that sex gets better with age.  But for a number of reasons.  At 47 I'm having the best and most frequent sex of my life with my husband of many years.   When I was in my '20's (oh, the 1980's....) I did not really get the idea of "trust" and "intimacy".  Sex was intimate, therefore sex is intimacy no?  If he's having sex with me, he must care for me too right?  As I "grew up" - became successful in my career and lifestyle - I developed a lot of self confidence.  I valued myself, and my body, much more than when I was younger.  I realized trust was paramount - and trust takes years to grow and develop.   I was sort of sheltered growing up so tended to belive all the TOTAL BS men would say just to get me into bed.  I regret the most believing their lines of bull and then blaming myself when the "relationship" (read "booty call") failed.  SO GLAD I'm now secure, strong and still one gorgeous woman.  It doesn't help my huband is 7 years my junior - he can keep up with me ( :

nonmember avatar Panda

I don't know, at only 21 I am capable of reaching multiple o's, but ever since having my 6 month old baby, I have definitely felt my most insecure. My husband and I are accepting of our bodies and frequently do "the Adam and Eve" thing around the house, but still even though i accept it, i dont necessarily like it. I've noticed it's hard for me to get in the mood.

nonmember avatar BostonBob

It had BETTER improve over time, I'd hate to think things peak in the early 20's. That's a long downhill slide.

I know I was awful when I was young (sorry girls!). Hopefully I've improved my technique at least some over the years.

The author makes the point too about it being more ENJOYABLE, not just that that we're better at it.

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