"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
Some men aren't into sex toys. Some men are. Those that are tend to like them because it's sort of like having a threesome without the complications. Sort of. Some women really get off by using sex toys -- why not make sure the woman is satisfied? But Lana's* husband Will* buys her sex toys because he doesn't want to have sex with her. She's not happy. Let's let her explain ....
I've been married to Will for 11 years. We have three kids. A house. A dog. Busy schedules. Will works a lot. He's tired a lot. I get that. I'm tired a lot too running three kids around to all the places they need to go. But I also need to connect with my husband. Not a vibrator. Will, however, thinks that should be enough for me. I feel like he buys me sex toys to use on myself as a substitute for him. He feels it's kind of his Get Out of Sex Free card. But I don't want sex toys. I want my husband.
It all started last year when I told Will I wanted to have more sex. We were only getting it on about once a month and I wanted more. Will told me he did, too, and he made an effort as did I to make more private time so we can be intimate. Soon after that he started buying sex toys every couple of months. I was excited at first, thinking we could use them together and we did quite a few times. But then the sex stopped. The buying of the sex toys did not.
He told me he thought having those toys would help me get the sex that I wanted without him having to participate ... because he's too tired most of the time. And that just made me sad. I was having fun using the sex toys with him, and I do like using sex toys alone, but I don't like the thought that my husband bought me sex toys to avoid having sex with me. Because that's essentially what happened. I spoke to him about it and he felt terrible but still doesn't understand why I can't just be happy with the sex life we do have and use one of the vibrators when he's not in the mood and I am.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, right? That's how I feel here. I'm wondering if I'm alone in questioning why he thinks this is okay.
What do you think? Should Will step up and have more sex with Lana? What do you think of him buying the sex toys as a replacement for him?
*Names have been changed.
Image via joaquinuy/Flickr