Guys have a saying: Bros before hos. But women don't really have an equivalent. There is really nothing worse than your BFF starting a relationship with a guy you can't stand. You know you're cooked. Your friend isn't going to break up with the guy just because you don't like him. In fact, she's going to make your life miserable by complaining about him to you all of the time. I wonder if it was this kind of scenario that supposedly made Katy Perry drop her raunchy BFF like a hot piece of steaming dog doo after she got back together with Chris Brown. Reportedly, the two had a falling out because Katy didn't approve of Chris. But Katy must have come around, because she and Rihanna have been flirting via Twitter.
Rihanna, classy lady that she is, went to a strip club over the weekend and tweeted her shenanigans. That's when Katy asked why she wasn't invited but promised she would let Rihanna "make it up" to her another time. Responded Rihanna: "I'll still let you spank me!"
Oh, sounds like these ladies have got their mojo back. At least on Twitter. But seriously, what is a gal to do when she HATES her friend's partner?
When I was young, I'd do the typical thing: Vociferously tell my friend her boyfriend was no good for her, etc. Of course, she'd never listen. She sees a side of him you don't. She's blinded by loooove. Love covers up all of those icky sides she doesn't want to see. Except when she does see them, and then she cries to you for hours about them, but then she forgets about all of that and goes off with him again. SIGH.
Over the years, I've learned there's little or nothing you can do about a friend's bad relationship choices. No matter how bad they are. You can be there to support your friend, listen to her tales of woe, and grab some margaritas with her on occasion, but don't get your hopes up that she'll leave him, because she's only going to do that when she's good and ready -- not when you want it.
In fact, getting on your friend's case about how bad her boyfriend or husband is will likely to lead to her dumping YOU, not him. Which is probably just want he wants.
If it makes you uncomfortable to hang out with your pal when HE'S there, then don't. Make it clear to your friend that you love her, but not HIM, and you'd rather hang with her solo. If she's not into that, then keep in touch by the relatively safe distance of email or phone. Unless she totally annoys you and then pretend you moved to Fiji.
The good news is that chances are the relationship will run its course and she'll be back inviting you to strip clubs -- sans her Chris Brown-ish BF -- in no time.
What have you done when you didn't like a friend's partner?
Image via Avrilllla/Flickr
Something my kids handmade
A fun holiday at home with my family
Some time off!
Something just for me, like a plush robe