'Hated for Being Beautiful' Writer Now Says Husbands Should Divorce Wives Who Get Fat

Say What!? 34

couple walking A few years back, I heard about a guy who was given a free pass by his buddies to stray from his marriage ... all because his wife had "let herself go" -- aka she had put on weight (likely as a result of carrying their daughter) and struggled to take it off. And somehow, that was a legitimate enough reason to some people that this husband should be unfaithful! Are. You. Freaking. Kidding. Me.

Unfortunately, this is a popular belief, held by even some women. Like Samantha Brick, the Daily Mail writer, who made our hair stand on end a while back with her column about other women hating her for "being too beautiful." Unsurprisingly, Brick is attempting to piss the whole of the web off once again with a new story, which takes on the Dove "Real Beauty" sketches campaign and claims only one type of woman can be considered attractive -- a thin one. Plus, "nothing signals failure more than fat." Thus, men are right to divorce a woman if she puts on weight. OMFG.

Specifically, Brick writes:

I have only ever dated men who kept a strict eye on my figure. My partners are not only boyfriends but weight-loss coaches. My first love continually reminded me that one can never be too rich or too thin, and my husband of five years frequently tells me that if I put on weight he will divorce me.

Yeah, cuz that's healthy! This woman is either pulling our chains or could use some serious psychotherapy. Oh, to be fair, we all have issues. Most women I know have struggled with extra pounds -- maybe just baby weight, maybe their whole lives -- at one time or another. It's called being human. And if your significant other values you more for a number on a scale than who you actually are as a person, that's all sorts of screwed up. What's more, women who are somehow OKAY with that -- like Samantha Brick -- break my heart.

More from The Stir: Dear Samantha Brick: I Am Sorry for Being a Sexist Jerk

Don't get me wrong. I believe in taking care of your body -- working out, eating right, being assertive about your health care. We should want to be our best selves for our partner, and of course be attractive to them, too. But we also all go through health highs and lows over the course of our lives, and if your partner's willing to call the relationship quits because you happen to be struggling at a particular time, how much could they genuinely care?

Since meeting my fiance more than six years ago, my weight has been slightly up, way down, way up (thanks to hormonal health issues), and slowly back down again (thanks to an aggressive, holistic healthy lifestyle overhaul). We want to have children, and despite my plan to be very health conscious throughout my pregnancy, I'll gain some weight. And then I'll have to take it off again. And I rest assured my future husband will understand and respect that and love me even if I put on weight and have to take it off again several more times over the course of our lives. I know, because he's already stuck with and supported me through challenging fluctuations.

It happens. Just like there will be times when you're ahead and behind financially. Or hello, what about "in sickness and in health"? True love and commitment means sticking with your partner through superficial and maybe even more significant changes. Loving them for who they ACTUALLY are, not for what the scale says they are.

Growing up, we're taught to keep "fair weather" friends at an arm's length. Who needs someone like that who isn't really going to be there for you through thick and thin? Similarly, the concept of being married to a "fair weight" spouse is not only sad -- but it strikes me as utterly pointless.

How do you feel about this idea that men should be given a free pass to cheat on/leave a woman who puts on weight? Do you agree your partner should support you no matter what size you happen to be?


Image via iStock

marriage, love, weight loss, general health


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B1Bomber B1Bomber

And I suppose women should be able to cheat on or divorce men who get fat? No?

nonmember avatar CrystalMP

This chick has a ridculous amount of problems and just for the record fat does not make someone ugly. being ugly makes you ugly wether its inside or out and I'd be willing to bet that this girl isnt all that pretty. I've known plenty of overweight people who are drop dead georgeous!

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

She's an idiot who writes for a trashy tabloid. She basically gets paid to troll. I don't pay any more attention to her than any of the lame cafemom trolls.

nonmember avatar Meg

Honestly this says more on her views of men then women. She is basically saying men are shallow and must love a woman based on her shell rather then what's inside. Makes me wonder of this woman is ok with men dumping women that get old? Sick? Perhaps disfigured in an accident?

Marriage for me has always been a commitment at its center. For better or worse. I have been married 8 years. My husband gained weight for a while until he became diabetic. I never stopped loving him or even stopped being attracted to him. The thought of bringing another man into my bed just because my husband is fat.... The thought is disgusting.

Valerie Metzger

Huh. I've been with my husband for 8 years, been fat the whole time, and he hasn't cheated on me yet. He must have the self control of a saint! Or actually love me. Either way.

nonmember avatar Lilac

Maybe I am wrong but if you look at her picture she had a little double chin herself. I wouldn't call her thin, average yes, healthy yes, but not thin.

nonmember avatar Bladesmith

I don't agree with the lady's point at all, but didn't this site run a post a while back from one of its authors saying "letting yourself go" could damage/destroy your marriage? Don't remember this author's great indignation then.

nonmember avatar J

Wow, just read her article and saw her pick. I wouldn't consider her shape "ideal". It's exactly why just dieting or not eating does not equate to healthy! You need to be physical, to workout, to build muscle. Who wants to spend 30 years dieting??? I watch what I eat, but I also splurge. I have my dinners out and my evening bowls of ice cream...the key is I work out, hard. I sleep better, I FEEL better, I look better...5'4" small size 6 and I'm happy.

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

Ironic considering her husband is an absolute porker. God love her, if she had another brain cell, it would be a lonely one.

Todd Vrancic

B1, that's just what I was going to say.  After all, if it's fair for men to cheat on or leave a spouse who has gained (or lost) an unacceptable amount of weight, women should have the same option.

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