Sex Confession: Wife Upset Because Husband Argues After Sex

Say What!? 10

man alone bed"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Twenty-seven year-old Jada* has been married for five years. She has what she says is a good life -- a son who amazes her every day and husband who does well financially -- but she never wants to have sex because every time she does, her husband argues with her. Paul* is 30 and Jada says he is very romantic and loving but something changes after they have sex. He criticizes her. He makes her feel like she isn't pleases him and naturally that upsets her. I'll let Jada explain.

I'm not sure what's going on with Paul. But every time we have sex, he gets upset with me. Mad even. It's like he's incredible and loving and happy one minute and then we make love and he changes. It makes me not want to ever have sex with him again. He used to want to cuddle and talk after sex, but sometime over the last six months he finds something to critique me about. Last week he told me that I didn't seem into it enough. The week before he told me I didn't shave good enough and my hair was prickling him. The time before that he said I smelled funny.

It's all upsetting me. Makes me not want to have sex with him. But then, he seduces me and is all sweet and nice and a totally different man than he is after we have sex. It's the same thing the next day. It's so bizarre.

I have talked to him about it and he shuts down -- doesn't want to talk at all. I keep thinking it will change -- that he will stop this. But without fail something irks him after sex and it's often right after. He not only has issue with me personally, but something about the house, his job, anything. It's like he can't have pleasure without getting very grumpy about something. I'm thinking he needs therapy, but when I mentioned it he got very upset about that. It has really put a wedge between us and I'm scared it's just going to get worse if he doesn't make a change.

What advice would you give Jada? Have you ever experienced anything like this before?

 

*Names have been changed.

 

Image via r.f.m.ll/Flickr

marriage, sex confession, sex

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sand008 sand008

Cheating or insecure

Rando... Randomlady

maybe some of those are real critique? the hair prickling, the smell, stuff like that could have just been honest critique. I don't agree that he is cheating, I think it is probably something stressing him out. Try to find out personally what is bothering him. If he is trying to hide it or just instantly becomes upset then he might be becoming emotionally abusive, some of the characteristics are starting to come out. However, there is also the possibility that he could be bored of the same sex too, vanilla sex I mean.

Lobelle Lobelle

Totally cheating. He's feeling guilty and reacting by criticizing her so he doesn't feel bad. Looking for a reason to get out by picking on trivial things.

nonmember avatar deb

my mum always told me "the guilty shout loudest" personally id say he's cheating but you've got three options talk to him which you've tried and he's not up for it so either a lawyer or a private detective that way you'll know for sure and if the detective comes back with proof take the sorry excuse of a man for all he's got. there is no reason to cheat on someone, you feel the need to do that leave first as that's the most hurtful and disrespectful thing you can do to your partner PERIOD

nonmember avatar blh

He's probably cheating. You should do some investigating.

Vegeta Vegeta

My wife isn't pleases me either.

nonmember avatar Sarah

It could be something "medical". Like it hurts when he gets off or he's not cumming as much as he used too and is trying to get pissy with you so you don't realize it. My husband had a issue like that and it took a long time to get it out of him.

redK8... redK8blueSt8

Since this started with in the last 6 months, my suspicion is that he is reacting out of guilt for having cheated on you.


There is a slight less probable alternative reason, that he has a porn problem that has escalated to the point that when reality doesn't match up with the fantasy he feels entitled to that he blames you.


Either way, as his wife you are entitled to more respect and love than this.


 

szinna szinna

Sudden changes in personality can sometimes be attributed to a medical issues (i.e. a stroke).  He should get evaluated.  If he's perfectly sound health-wise, then he either needs to be willing to talk to you about it, or you need to leave.

Jennifer Kinghorn

Huge red flag! Hes cheating, I would bet money on it!

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