Real Men Don’t ‘Wait Three Days’ to Call After a First Date

Love & Learn 11

Lady on phoneRemember that  “wait three days to call” rule? Well, I’ve always hated it. It’s immature and, let’s be honest, I just plain hated waiting. I don’t like games. I didn’t want to be chased and I didn’t want to chase anyone else. I always felt that it made more sense to just let someone know you were interested. I absolutely hated waiting for the phone to ring. The guys I dated all held steadfast to the dating "rules", which basically meant they'd call in three to five days. I adhered to the if you wait more than three days, I'm not answering rule. We were at an impasse, as you can clearly see.

A recent study done by found that 78 percent of guys reach out to a woman less than three days after the first date. Thanks to modern technology, it's just so easy these days and  I think it’s great. Why not IM, text or email to say “ Thanks for going out with me. I had a great time, let’s do it again!” rather than playing guessing games and getting aggravated waiting around to be contacted, like it’s a job instead of a relationship. Games are for children not grown ups. Who has time for that?

But this is really nothing new. Real men have known for ages that dating games are for children. My husband called me the night after we met, not three days later, and I thought he was crazy because I had been brainwashed into thinking that any man worth having was hard to get. What an idiot I was.

To my delight and surprise, it turned out he wasn’t crazy or clingy. He just knew what he wanted. He had a dating maturity that was beyond his years and he didn't play games, like every other guy I'd dated up to that point. He knew what he wanted in a companion and he went after it. I was impressed and a little thrown. I had never dated a guy who was so straight forward and honest and open about his feelings for me. It was a little intimidating.

Once I was past the shock of his dating technique, I was completely smitten. He swept me off my feet. Four months later, he asked me to marry him. Yes, he shocked me once again.  Following suit, I took a leap and said yes. Next month, we will celebrate our 14 Th wedding anniversary.

Do you think the "wait three days to call" rule adds interest to dating or is it just a source of aggravation?


Image via Flickr/ Mark Sebastian

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Kency09 Kency09

Antiquated, to say the least. Three days is an eternity now days. Just call me-- make me feel special!!

Emily Alane Stromberg Baker

Ugh. Yes. Stupid "rule." Who on earth came up with that idiocy anyway? Probably a man. Who didn't want to stop playing the field long enough to make a phone call. It's called courtesy, you knuckle-dragging neanderthals! If you had a good time on your date and you want to see the woman again, call her and let her know within 24 hours. In this day and age, she's probably busy. Women don't sit home eating bonbons and waiting for the phone to ring any more. We're out working, socializing, climbing the corporate ladder, schmoozing, whatever. We're busy people, just like you boys are, and we need time to plan our schedules. So if we went out on a Saturday and it's now Sunday and you'd like to hang out again this coming Friday, you might want to Otherwise I'm going to assume you're not interested and move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea, babe.

Freela Freela

I had no idea that was a rule... I obviously haven't dated for a really long time! When my dh and I met (teenagers) I gave him my number. He didn't call the next day. On Monday at school, our mutual friend asked if he called. When I said no, she rolled her eyes and gave me his number. I called him that night. Glad we didn't follow any rules. He was just shy to call.

Luke Oakridge

Wait so he isn't a "real man" unless he does what ever the author's preferences are? How about the fact that men are different. This site would never put up with a person saying what a "real woman" was.

Also, if you wanted to date him, why don't you try calling him? The guy doesn't always have to be the first one to call. Women can take equal responsibility for starting the relationship.

Douglas Hagarty

This is NOT A RULE!!!!! Women/Girls if your man is on a date with you, and his eyes our on you 95% of the time, and he understands you, then that is a Great Date! If this Man does not text you, or contact you in anyway within 24 hours, then dump him!!!

bella... bellacazzate

Oh, blow it out yer arse, Luke. 

hexxuss hexxuss

Never heard of this 'rule'... usually guys would call me back the next day, or meet up with me in school - which they planned while we were out lol.  I've never 'dated around', and wouldn't be with a guy who did either.  You either know what you want, or you don't, simple.  As for Luke - I've asked a guy out before too, on the FIRST date even.

nonmember avatar BostonBob

I met my wife at a Saturday morning class. I called her as soon as I got home (by 3pm). That was 10 years (and two kids) ago.

If you want to call (men OR women), just CALL!

nonmember avatar damien

"It's called courtesy, you knuckle-dragging neanderthals! If you had a good time on your date and you want to see the woman again, call her and let her know within 24 hours"

courtesy? so why is the man the one being considerate? shouldnt it be both ways?..equal? girls pick up a phone..equality is soooo equal...but watching the hate thrown at luke for pointing out the hypocrisy shows that a few women cant walk their talk

nonmember avatar sarah

how dare luke point out the bs and how dare some women on this thread prove him soooooooo right

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