Loving Your Husband More Than Your Kids Is Exactly What You Should Do

Sasha Brown-Worsham Rant

early marriageEvery once in a while when you are with a group of moms, the question of who they love more between their husband and children comes up. Often in hushed tones, punctuated with giggles, women will reveal that they love their children thousands of times more than they love their husbands. For many women, their husbands become annoying accessories, people they must endure in order to spend time with their kids.

Gone is the romance, gone is the love, gone is the attention that these wives once paid their husband early in marriage. It's unfortunate. A discussion on CafeMom is currently going on about whether or not that love renews itself after the children are grown. For many, it seems to.

These are women who have been married 25 years or more, whose children are grown, who say that they NOW love their husbands more than ever. That's great, but what about when their kids were young?

As a youngish mom who is currently in the thick of raising my two young kids, I know how easy it would be to just lose myself in their sweet baby faces. After all, they give great hugs, constant cuddles, and exhaust me to the point of insanity. But every day, at the end of the day, my husband and I make room for one another. Both of us know that the best gift we can give our children is us, in love and stronger than ever. It's just a fact.

Don't wait 25 years to love your husband. Do it now. Because in 20 years, once the kids are raised, you may find there is nothing left to say to one another.

Sure, it's hard when the kids are little, and there are times, after my kids are in bed, when the only thing I want in the whole world is to curl up in my bed with tea and a book and not have to talk to (or touch) anyone. Sometimes I do that.

But there are also times my husband and I use that time. We may not get to go out every night like we used to, but we try to at least spend some time together. And yes, we get date nights at least every couple weeks. Once a year, we even get to take an anniversary trip away from the kids just to be alone together.

The reality is, I love my husband more now than I did when we were newlyweds. I presume that I will love him even more next year and so on and so on. Love continues to grow and change and get better if it's good.

I wouldn't say I love anyone in my family "more." It seems insane to quantify love. I love them all. Period. It's equal. Marriage isn't something that can be dropped and picked back up a few years later. It's a constant work in progress. Love him today. Love him always.

Do you think you will love your husband more after the kids leave?

 

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