Going to Therapy Alone Can Help Your Marriage as Much as Couples Counseling

Love & Sex 7

How therapy can help your marriageIn addition to marriage counseling, I've started getting therapy for myself too. I've been in and out over the years, mostly when I've needed the extra support to deal with difficult family issues.

But every time I go back, I wonder why I ever stopped because I find the sounding board and guidance of a neutral party to be so helpful in every aspect of my life, whether it's parenting, my relationship, or my own personal goals and needs.

If you're wondering why you might need to go to individual therapy to help your marriage, here's why I decided to take the plunge alone.

1. Neutrality

As much as it feels great to be able to talk to a friend or confidante about your issues, they will probably always have some level of bias towards you. And if they don't, it could hurt your friendship. Having a therapist who has no actual investment in your situation can help take the burden off your friendships and your marriage partner, especially if you have other stresses and issues outside of your relationship.

2. Reassurance

Since I don't have a lot of friends nearby and my familial relationships are a little strained, I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be able to hear positive things from someone on a weekly basis. Just hearing, "Wow, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate" can help immensely. I don't just go to hear that I'm right, because that's not always the case, but having someone give you a bit of reassurance can make a huge difference.

3. Reality Check

It's easy to get caught up in the stress, the crap, and yes, the dysfunction of your own life, and it's incredibly helpful to have someone to call you on it, whether it's something you're doing that you need to stop, or something that you're putting up with that you need to make a choice about. And while therapists aren't known for calling you out on your bullshit, they have a pretty amazing way of getting you to that place, which can be a big breakthrough.

Now even though most insurances cover some level of mental health care, and pretty much everyone I know goes to a therapist (even celebrities!), counseling still gets a pretty bad rap because people still often seem to think that you have to be very troubled to need someone else's help.

On the contrary, going to see a therapist on a regular basis, whether it's for a major issue or just due to "stress," which is usually what brings me, is one of the smartest things you can do for yourself and your relationship.

Do you see a therapist, and if so, why do you go?


Image via TheDailyEnglishShow/Flickr

marriage, emotional health, mental health, relationships


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LoveM... LoveMyViolet

I disagree. I actually stopped going because I found we fought more AFTER I went to the therapist. Yeah, it was great talking to someone about everything and most time I got an objectve opinion about them, but for me it just called more attention to the fact the my husband should have been there too. If I'm playing by the rules and he gets to do whatever he wants it doesn't help anything and it makes me resent him even more.

nonmember avatar Joanna

While we never went to couples counseling, (because I was the one with the issue, not our marriage) going to a therapist helped me to take stock of my reactions to my marriage and life in general. It helped me to realize that I tended to overreact to some things, while also being reassuring that I was doing some things right. Having a neutral party who was still kinda "on my side" helped me to work through a LOT of issues and gave me coping tools for the future. I'd always thought it was for people with major issues (and maybe that's what I ended up having without realizing) but I think it helped me immensely.

nonmember avatar Brenda

I've been in regular therapy for almost five years now. Sometimes weekly, sometimes twice a month, but it's been a lifesaver for me. I started because I was was struggling with every feeling awful. Once I started, I found out there was a name for why I felt the way I did: depression. I still see a therapist regularly for maintenance. Even though my depression is, for lack of a better term, in remission, I find it's so helpful to have someone help me deal with the stress in my life, to help me sort out the relationships in my life, to help me figure out how to be the healthiest me I can. It's also great knowing that I'm not burdening my friends with all of my issues all the time.

Rainie Flores

I think it all depends on the situation and the degree of the problem. If you think seeing a therapist will help, by all means. Sometimes, talking to a friend or a family member is just not enough that you have to seek professional help.

- KathieRayAnnis.com

Emma Mercer

We all have our reasons why we choose to seek the help of a therapist. I am for neutrality. Sometimes, it is just best to talk to someone who doesn't really know you too well so he or she can't judge you. It just feels good to open up to someone about all your flaws and issues in life in a professional level.


Meme Whitlock

What if you don't have a close family me ever like a mom etc

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