10 Biggest Wedding Day Mistakes Brides Truly Regret Making

Love & Learn 22

bride groom drinking champagneIf you thought wedding planning stress was bad, there's a whole new chapter of anxiety after you say "I do." No matter how wonderful a wedding turned out to be, many women fall into the trap of re-hashing the big "mistakes" that went down on the Big Day, notes bridal counselor and author of The Conscious Bride Sheryl Paul. Even if it's just in an attempt to forewarn our friends who are about to walk down the aisle, we can't help but drive ourselves a little bit crazy about all the "disasters" that went down at the wedding. But some are obviously much more catastrophic and significant than others.

In an attempt to forewarn brides-to-be (like me), here, 10 minor and major but altogether regret-worthy ways wedding days have taken a wrong turn ...

  1. The florist's (or another vendor's) bill suddenly doubling overnight. Unexpected changes have caused brides to contend with last minute charges that came out of the blue. Talk about an instant headache!
  2. Not letting Dad, Mom, or someone else near and dear express their deepest emotions. Whether it's about avoiding raccoon streaks from our mascara as we walk down the aisle or just wanting the day to be "perfect," brides often want to avoid emotional confrontations. But sometimes, having the hardest conversation or letting yourself embrace the most heart-wrenching moment is exactly what the day is all about.
  3. Failing to think/talk about how your relationships will change ... before the Big Day. With your mom, your dad, your best friend. All of these emotions have a way of rising to the surface on the wedding day if we don't tackle them in the days prior.
  4. Neglecting to discuss the final game plan and get the details in writing from vendors. And then missing out on something you really wanted, having to suffer through something you didn't want (NO disco!), or suffering a hairy miscommunication as a result.
  5. Neglecting to delegate big projects to other people. That's what they're there for -- to make your life and your day less stressful!
  6. Not having hired a day of (or month of!) coordinator. Mostly to avoid having to stress out about all the little details up 'til the last minute or deal with those last minute changes from #1 that you don't want to stick your mom or bridesmaids with, because they have other major duties to tend to.
  7. Missing out on the food. Either before the ceremony, which can set you up for seriously low blood sugar. Or due to socializing and trying to stick to "the schedule," missing out on the dinner, the dessert and/or the cake you worked on designing for months!
  8. Throwing up your hands and "yes"-ing everyone to death. You may want to just give in and let your in-laws take the reins on eleventh hour details like the seating chart, but pick your battles wisely. Some things -- no matter how tedious -- could definitely be better handled by you and your fiance.
  9. Being hell-bent on perfectionism. There's no such thing, especially on a wedding day where there are so many personalities and factors at play. Almost every bride I know who raves about her wedding says she just let go and let the day flow as best she could instead of concerning herself with the minutiae. Someone else should be tending to that anyway! (See #5.)
  10. Forgetting what it's all about. It's so easy to get caught up in the details, the "Big Perfect Day" ideal, what it's supposed to be that we often lose focus of what a wedding really is: The beginning of a lifelong commitment to another person. A rite of passage. If it doesn't go exactly as planned, it doesn't mean the marriage is doomed! It just means you've got something ridiculous to laugh (or, okay, cry) about for years to come ... together.

More from The Stir: Couples Spend HOW Much on Their Wedding?!

What's the biggest wedding mistake you or someone you know made?


weddings, love, marriage

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nonmember avatar Amy

My only regret is that I have no pictures of just my mom and I. My photog was not very great. My head was a million other places and I didn't realize until I got the photos.

sssdnm sssdnm

I agree with the no photos! I don't have any with my close family and just one with my mom! The day was to hectic to keep up with small details like photos

butte... butterflyfreak

My wedding day was pretty much perfect simply because I didn't stress about the details. I had my dad and stepmom helping to pay most of the costs and I put the details in my stepmothers uber-organized hands. I told her pretty much what I wanted (outdoor wedding at a Wedding Fountain in one of my city's public parks with a BBQ/potluck reception in the Garden Center building directly adjacent) and what I wanted for my colors and that it was to be very kid-friendly since my daughter was going to be a year old and there would be lots of other kids. The day of my wedding, I didn't have to worry about anything. There was someone assigned to watch my daughter and between my stepmom and a hanful of friends, all the decorating was done while I was having my hair and make-up done by my sister. I maybe didn't sit down and eat much during the reception but there was no real "schedule" to adhere to. We had the ceremony and fired up a couple grills and started cooking and eating, mingling and laughing. But then my focus wasn't so much about the ONE day, but what that day was leading me into, marriage with a man that adores me and our child and whom is adored equally by me and our child.

nonmember avatar Greg Fuller

How about the the most obvious? Such as: going through with the ceremony/saying "I do," and/or getting married in the first place...

jalaz77 jalaz77

Paying too much for a photographer. HUGE mistake.

Melis... Melissa1508

1. My husband and I had to pay for our own wedding, so our budget was very tight.  I didn't get the dream dress that I wanted.  Almost 10 years ago and it still makes me feel a little sad.


2. Letting my mother talk me into using a family member as the caterer.  BIG MISTAKE.  Not only was the food terrible, but she ended up charging me extra and demanded a check before we even left the venue for our honeymoon.  In addition to that, my mom caught her trying to take home some of the flower arrangements!

tbruc... tbrucemom

Melissa-I'm not sure why if you were paying for your own wedding you had to listen to your mother as to the choice of a caterer.  I'm not trying to be sassy, I just genuinely wonder why she had that kind of control over your wedding when she didn't even offer to help pay for it.

Suzanne R Nimmo

I am a wedding coordinator at our church. I give this bit of advice to all of my brides...The only thing about this wedding that is important is that you and your groom show up, the minister shows up and marries you. The rest is icing on the cake.


 

manda... mandaschelle

For is it was planning the big shindig in the first place. God bless my parents they paid for it all. We should have followed our personalities and eloped to Vegas with immediate family only. It would have been easier on everyone.

TerriC TerriC

I have no complaints about my wedding day actually.  Even the little things that went wrong, make for memories down the line.  I would not change a thing.

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